jestdotty said winner winner chicken dinner,@retoor the bread is ergot and you can die from that,@Demolishun oh ok so she just went crazy

I think it happens if someone has some kind of deficiency and their body can't keep up with the neurogenesis the drugs are asking the body to be able to grow

like apparently certain forms of schizophrenia are cured by high dose b3 or by giving people iodine. I had a friend from childhood, my best friend, and in adulthood she went crazy... psychosis unspecified. she was thrown around the Canadian medical system and I don't know what happened to her. she was paranoid of her family and they were pretty mean to her, but eventually she became paranoid of even me and I haven't spoken to her in years, if she's even still out there,communists are the most vicious people

watching that debate they put Joe Biden into vs trump was just horrific. they're truly vicious people. how could you do that to an old man. it was disgusting

I always heard they were vicious, I've never seen it before. now I see it. it's disturbing,ala immigrants, they never cared, it was just convenient,@Liebranca hmmm idk what actual left means, but I don't think going that way would be all that great from the images you're painting

wonder how all that squares with like, god and your faith and you saying never to do magic because demons always come out. is it demonic to wanna kill people? unknown

the other day I found out "we are all born sinful" didn't actually come from Jesus, it was from the Hebrew Bible. and in other religions and from actual quotes of Jesus everybody regards children as pure of soul. so someone wrote some incorrect shit in there to put s chip into newly born souls so they wouldn't have the confidence to defend themselves I guess,hospitals got money for every person who died of COVID?

so suddenly bike accidents meant you died of COVID

because the PCR test has a 70% false positive rate lol,probably some plugin

I'd omit some customers from some plugins, then narrow it down based on which get compromised. then you can sue them!,software for abled people doesn't even work these days,but also in UK they were murdering people with remdesivir (on purpose, sometimes doctors they targeted)

and ventilators in USA. who knows what else,@Demolishun and I got banned from reddit by mentioning vitamin c and vitamin d

vitamin c improved outcomes by 70% lmao

and the only people dying of COVID seemed to be vitamin d deficient

seriously these people murdered so many people. it's gross. quickest way to lose faith in humanity. I thought humans were alright before then. what a wild fucking time

there was a manager I liked at a former workplace and he was black. I think he died. fucked up. all he would've needed was vitamin d.,@Demolishun ivermectin is still banned up here in Canada

kicker is there's chance it would fix my issues,@Demolishun hahaha yeah been seeing that. next year we have elections and if they come up here they'll get retraumatized because our conservative guy will win cuz the liberals tanked their reputations so badly it is unknown if they will recover in the next decade,@Demolishun my bf lives near the Mexican border. maybe I can get him to buy me some and send it in an unmarked package I guess

but honestly I didn't beeline for it because it was like 1 of 30 potential solutions and the 30 didn't work

it shouldn't be banned in the first place. just fucked up shit

I was googling if I had it right and the only thing that comes up is a news story about undercover journalists trying to figure out how Canadians were trying to get ivermectin in 2022, except the article just stops and doesn't disclose. does mention it's "anti vaxxers" that are doing it. I took your damned vaccine! that's why I'm looking for it!

these people are so gross,just means you don't take it upon you to suffer for the greater good of all

so selfish,@PappyHans if you downvote it'll be for you only but if 2 down vote it'll be for everyone and the post gets hidden unless you have a direct link to it or go to the profile of the poster

for comments I guess they just plain disappear

for downvoting comments if it's only you I don't think it hides it until it gets -2 and then the comment I think gets deleted? cuz you can't find it on profiles or anything. unsure if the user who got downvoted get permanent negative score either (if user A upvotes user B, and then user A deletes their account, used B's total score then decreases by all the user A's upvotes for them. similarly if you delete your own comments and they had upvotes your score will go down)

I see accounts with negative total score so being downvoted must degrade your score in some way, but downvotes are harder to track to know how that system works

I guess I could get a downvoted comment and try to test but I'm lazy,@Demolishun lensflare and tosensei made me lose mine

I don't think I've ever downvoted you. you just post cheesy jokes, which is hardly going to be aggravating. then again I guess some people can't handle humour which is pretty wild and surprising. cheesy humour is too much for them  lmao? how? 🤣,I've gotten downvoted on some occasions but I think by this point people got used to me. people just dislike my opinions or sometimes really get triggered by something I say so target me for a while (and interestingly enough seem to not be cognizant of why they're exactly mad at me which is kind of funny), but generally most humans tire themselves out eventually and everything goes back to peaceful,@Demolishun yeah you're just super harmless,ostream is just confused and throws his confusion on others. he wants validation / help for his confusion I think,accessibility would make sense if it was something like, "if you have a user and they want accomodations they can contact you about accomodations for them and you should make reasonable accomodations"

but out of the gate requiring everyone is really labour intensive and daunting

these people are self destructive on purpose though. that's the goal. they wanna mire people in irrelevant problems so that they can't focus on what really matters. they wanna give people useless work so that everyone feels like what they do is irrelevant, meaningless. then they usher in communism, which is actually gonna be more of the same useless system that further alienates people and mires them in even more rules that don't make sense and nobody wants. and this is the goal, the goal is to tangle people in useless rules and drain them of their spirit, will to live, on purpose

accomodations to the "minority" on default deliberately breaks pareto principle which exists in all of nature & thrives life,this actually makes perfect sense to me

their names are funny tho,@Tounai garlic is a drug

ginger is a drug

tea? drug

chocolate? drug

spices are literally medicinal drugs! we don't view them that way now but they are!

everything is a drug!

breathe air and it has aluminum dust in it? drug!,@Tounai make the harmful acts people do illegal, not the activity that is tangentially related to their harmful activities

drugs themselves are fine if you're responsible with them

now... how about those doctors that prescribed opioids to everyone while told them they weren't addictive?

or how about drug dealers that keep lacing fentanyl in everything when that's not what you asked for?

and you can arrest them on the basis of using poor drug mules, or disclosing their airplanes of drugs incorrectly on flight reports to the government (which allows slave laboured items to get into the country, otherwise you can't tell if goods were made by slave labour or what),have you just tried a colonoscopy bag,@Tounai well step one is not excusing their behaviour 

cuz doing that it'll only get worse until something breaks and people finally cease excusing their behavior. there is no other way out,@Tounai you identified the EU with their behavior

as soon as you cease viewing EU as the identity filled with people of that disposition, the EU will cease being of the identity of being filled with people of that disposition

you wanna start a revolution, just change the perception of what the EU identity is, and everything else follows from there. because it'll actually make people uncomfortable that the identity doesn't fit, so they'll wanna do something about it. by acknowledging the embarrassing identity and just living with it, you excuse it, normalize it, and it continues. you give it power, legitimacy, as "that's just the way things are",@Tounai 🙄,@Demolishun pretty sure he knows it, so he's participating in it willfully,@retoor I think the trick is to still say the same stuff but get up voted for it. if the content changes then you're cheating!,@TrayKnots surgeons who are gamers score 26% better on surgery things at minimum

so said Elon musk and Joe Rogan on their interview

gamers rise up

anyway so I started playing games again because I have brain damage I have to reheal from,it's probably the bots tbh

things aren't up voted by merit. so you never see the best of humanity. you see the best of humanity that still tows some arbitrary and irrelevant line. so merit degrades, and everyone becomes nihilistic,@retoor I used to game a lot. I pirated and played every game I knew existed, and basically 80% of the MMOs that ever existed during the MMO golden era (I was poor, mom sat on welfare, computers have infinite free content, yarr!)

when mobile phones came into being I would see full adults be addicted to candy crush on the subway. but I'd see this even 2-4 years after candy crush era ended. it was strange to me these people were still addicted to games, and one game no less

I think I ceased being dopamine driven pretty early on, like 12-13. my friends would be so annoyed at me. I would get them into a game and I'd be gone in 2-3 days on to something else, bored. aside from my first year or two of gaming, I basically somehow, cured myself of gaming addiction by exposure

yesterday I played multiwinia, one of these favourite dear to my heart games nobody knows of. I've never been addicted to it or darwinia. I somehow played several matches and couldn't help myself. bruh, wild?,@12bitfloat had a stalker from NL saying that to me. sounds stupid to me

he was like, you wouldn't reject me IRL cuz I'd knock your skull in! something to that effect

kicker is I think my 5'8" ass would intimidate his 6'5" smeagle ass, which is just gonna make him even sadder as a human being

now I understand why he was so big into stalking

... also irl I wouldn't have to punch him. I wouldn't survive a punch from a dude well, if it hit lol, and I don't even know how to punch. so it's not punching

actually I once read out loud the messages he sent to me, via voice clip recordings, cuz he kept going on about how I interpreted him, so to prove to him I didn't interpret him the way he was saying, I read his messages in the way he sounded in my head. he "laughed" at me (but it was fake), and then 2 hours later he ragequit and deleted his server, account, etc. I didn't see him for 2 weeks. then he came by and tried to sexually harass me saying my voice was hot in those clips. right,@12bitfloat if I punched him he'd punch me and I wouldn't survive that. so it's in my best interest for there not to be punches

but still IRL somehow a woman who can't punch has more power. and those voice clips gave me power that plain text didn't,@Demolishun oh

I just remembered

in medieval times... they had... some amazing torture methods

one of them was
you put a dude sandwiched between two boats
his head and feet, hands are quartered outside of the boat I think

and then they force feed him milk and honey

until he shits himself to death
in the sun

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

the article's description is worse btw,@retoor just random discord server. don't remember now. he was passing by and arguing with somebody and I got in the middle of it. evidently it was some chick and she said now he was mine. and I guess I adopted a retarded Chihuahua human

then he proceeded to sit anywhere I was for 3 months and wouldn't talk

then he messaged me once saying he loved me

and he still couldn't talk

then he started getting violent, and like calling women axe wounds or something
and he had rage issues if anyone talked to me which was lame, so then because that wasn't flying with me he kept oscillating through various versions of self destruction

then he tried to tell people I abused him somehow, but anytime anyone met me they no longer bought it, and eventually everyone just tagged him as a crazy bipolar girl or something

and then he found some weird discord therapist who is probably a pedo and runs a cult of little girls, but he got saner after that,think I'm running on empty for 8 years but I don't even do anything yet I eternally feel like garbage

what is this magical state people keep talking about,@antigermgerm geez ur destined for success,black hole

cuz I wonder what's in it

---

I don't know. I don't even have weekends. I apparently got a migraine so bad yesterday I thought it was just a headache because my body had gone numb lol, only found out in the shower when I couldn't feel anything with my body. nice

eating a bunch of dark chocolate and cheese may have been the mistake earlier this week

also everything is breaking, I'm out of cleaner to clean the place yet 2 days ago I claimed I'd be done in the next week, but now I'm gonna have to wait until the 15th to order new cleaner

maybe my brain will recover enough to where I can code again, cuz before the 15th i'd really want some working code

at least all of crypto is going nuts because Trump won. now there's gonna be trump backstabbing drama left and right

really enjoying this weird esoteric experts in weird fields nobody takes seriously being interviewed on YouTube channel I found though. so exciting

maybe I'll play more video games and drown my misery,@retoor well it's a full moon where I'm at so that's something. I was gonna try to eat the moon via witchcraft but just now I accidentally figured out there really is a meaning to life wtf. did not expect to be pilled on that so maybe I'll be distracted (plus something about lunatics? idk)

um so there's a predictable slight boost in crypto 15th to 25th where everyone gets their paychecks and gambling more money cuz haven't paid rent yet, so there's slightly more money in the system at those times so I set them as deadlines for good luck

but also I just simply order groceries twice a month. I keep buying kefir cuz making my own hasn't worked yet, and it lasts about 2 weeks from the store which means I order groceries about twice a month, and it just so happen to fall on the beginning / end and middle of the month because that's when I do my bills I guess so I just do all my computer accounting chores at once,@retoor I don't wanna be identified

finance systems also identify you

could put new users into a limbo,@Demolishun no

trump had a Bitcoin advocate guy

to be fair it's the only way USA could get out of its debt problem,@retoor I have life of many betrayals,which one is goat,they banned everyone who said things they didn't like,I like tea

and also I would like my useless co workers not to bother me anymore and hopefully not touch important things

so yes I guess?

unknown if Intel will survive though,@b2plane nope!

pretty crazy actually,el Salvador got out of a really horrible situation with Bitcoin

Michael saylor just bought more BTC on debt

this isn't a quick thing and I still think b2plane has too neurotic a disposition to do stonks

word around the street is eventually everything will be Bitcoin. will take like 20 years though

Michael saylor gets businesses on board so they can have their treasuries avoid inflation

when Trump won... the next stage of the game began. nation states FOMO. governments are slow though

the halvening is every 4 years roughly, happened in April. afterwards Bitcoin goes up. the miners are incentivized to do marketing -- and contrary to popular belief miners are people who look for cheap electricity, like off hours at hydro dams. and everything runs on electricity. good leverage,it's a game of musical chairs

the first country to go on Bitcoin wins

so far they been playing poker pretending it's bad, and nobody wants it, and you're a criminal if you have it

once the bluff is called... the game changes,@retoor Dubai is cool as shit apparently

yeah ofc Dubai would allow it. I mean new egg takes Bitcoin payments long time ago. taking payments not the same as having a Treasury though. Is Dubai even a country or just some billionaire bought some land in the desert?

the benefit of countries is the country prints the currency of its local citizens. if countries buy Bitcoin it will destroy inflation, which nobody seems to "understand" where inflation comes from. it's really bad and much higher than the 4% it was claimed in the western world

everyone's gotten poorer for decades now and they don't know it. from one person's salary affording a house in 4 years and being able to feed a family with 5 kids to you can be a couple with good jobs and maybe you'll manage to pay off your house in 20 years if nothing bad happens. and forget kids. maybe you can have 1 or 2 if you're really rich and really squeeze it smartly somehow. and you ain't doing anything fun in your lifetime,nyah~!,@retoor yeah it's damned insulting

fucking pizza parties. don't put garbage in my body. wtf? HOW is that a reward? oh you did work so well let's poison you with nitrites, glyphosate, and ruin your blood sugar and metabolism. that'll help you think well and perform in the future. eat it. eat it you pig.

literally self destructive,@retoor oooh where I live beer is a big thing

I like beer. probably can't drink it now

but this is valid form of payment for me. it's like tea!

the teas I buy are about 20 cents a bag. I don't know how vastly the range price of tea per cup could be. if you buy in bulk the price is less, this is me just buying the small pricey containers of regular tea. organic tea might actually be cheaper because the leaves are stronger so you get more taste and a better effect with less material

yeah if they wanna say the tea is in place of salary the price wouldn't ever make sense. however, coffee makes people work faster and creates a good atmosphere, so for a good atmosphere I'll work faster and fine by me. a lot of teas are nootropics or have health benefits, so fine by me as well

beer? I have no justification lol. I just think it tastes good. few drugs I'll say no to. won't do them all the time though, but the option is nice, like a vacation,@chatgpt price of tea is 20 cents a cup, imagine a person drinks tea every hour they work for fulltime work hours of 2000 a year

the salary at Intel ranges from 47,000 a year to 733,000 a year

calculate how much money in tea a person would drink after 2000 hours of work, with 20 cents a bag

then calculate how much that is as a percentage of 47,000 salary and a percentage for a 733,000 salary,fyi don't drink tea every hour

if you drink 5 cups of green tea a day you're pushing liver damage,@chatgpt now imagine 47,000 and 733,000 salaries are taxed in California, because I'm pretty sure Intel has a bunch of employees in California

as a total percentage of their takedown amount of money, how much of their salary is being taxed?

(trump wants to get rid of income tax, granted I guess it's federal only),fucking how many R's are there in strawberry useless

I gotta Google my own data and tell it the logic to use and it still misunderstands English so one may as well use a calculator,@Tounai seemed fine by me

women get iron deficiency due to periods, but I never did despite being exclusively on green tea for like 5 years. granted I do eat a lot of meat

lemme look it up

---
ok it downregulates some transporters so your digestion might be compromised. I don't know if lack of iron would make you feel faint, sounds like a bit of a stretch / misinformation. the downregulation might be pretty insignificant if you generally eat good food (probably like 10% or 50% at worst, but if you eat 2 steaks that day instead of 1, or are able to tell what you're hungry for and eat it, then it'll be fine)

most likely cause of faint would be because it changes gut flora to be anti inflammatory. this would reduce blood pressure, and if you don't eat electrolytes (specifically potassium, sodium,  magnesium, calcium) and replenish them + get water, it will take your body some time to adjust to having less inflammation

inflammation itself will compromise digestion ability also,@Demolishun black and green tea increases NAD/NADH which is made from b3 and very important energy source for neurons. also makes you live longer

so yes

you automatically become an intellectual and annoy everyone horribly, then laugh about it in that subtle posh way,can you take no for an answer?

after that it is determined if she thinks people can take no for an answer,@Lensflare @tosensei why do you guys always strangely come on at the same time,@tosensei do you want me to write a script that goes through all the messages on the platform and correlates it or something

also rich calling me a conspiracy theorist if you are against trump

speaking of trump... I just realized. I think he thinks he's going to die. probably before he gets elected. he's throwing out these orders too fast. it's like the gifts of a dying man,@Grumm seems fine

dudes are too pussy anyway

actually I got raped once (or a few times cuz he was that sad) but it was really pathetic. I dumped the guy for it. it's one thing to not care about my consent but it's weird if you won't even discuss it. actually it was more that he left me to die on his bathroom floor, but the rape thing was just sad. I clearly liked him and we were going out, so why would you rape somebody who would've consented? =-=

and then he followed me around so I told people I didn't want him around cuz he raped me and that actually went very badly and I lost faith in humanity,@Hazarth in my case when a coworker was casing me I had left. granted not because of him  at least I think not

he basically started treating me badly after he got a girlfriend, despite us being "close" before (I guess not), and I wouldn't put it past him to have told all the executives he talked to on the regular that I was worthless and that maybe resulted in the conditions that made me leave, since when I talked to another co-worker that's apparently what he was doing to the other guy,@retoor duckduckgo isn't better (people say it's just reskinned bing)

there's a real search engine problem rn,@bazmd fucking EVERYONE believes this global warming crap

actually I appear to have re-enlightened myself recently and now I'm wondering if they're trying to use the power of concurrent thought to stop the upcoming ice age or something. humans die a lot more during ice ages than periods when the earth heats,well roomie had old speakers. about a second before anyone's phone would ring the speakers would buzz, then stop buzzing when the ring would happen

so I'd guess it's that but your bones are the resonator or whatever,@tosensei ok, hoarder,and my cat licks its ass,oh that's not the whole ML/AI field?,don't meet your heroes, they're very boring in realtime,@Demolishun naw human activity literally doesn't matter. it's like 0.05% of CO2 and CO2 doesn't work linearly for temperature anyway  cuz once the CO2 is all maximized in terms of temperature it just leaks like an overfilled sponge 

it seems to be a good money laundering scheme along with all that DEI diversity gender stuff though

and there are people who think it's a justification to kill people but why they wanna kill people doesn't really make sense to me. even now, with my becoming enlightened again to what a consciousness is. I mean maybe if they kill specific people and not others? 🤷,any certs!,@Demolishun oh I thought you thought fossil fuels cause warming so by getting people off them we cool the planet

I totally forgot fossil fuels are used to heat homes in the winter

I mean up here in Canada we can still walk outside, cut a tree down, and haul the wood into a fireplace. is it a fossil fuel? 🤔 is just debris you find and burn in my head

windmills and solar panels are just plain bad. when it's cold there's no wind and when it's cold it's generally cold because there's no sun. wave power maybe or dams work though

also batteries suck in the cold,The midnight poop,phone storage 69% full now

still sync error cuz not enough space somehow 

did sync the spam folder in that email while it was telling me it couldnt sync. saw a bunch come in

interestingly, when i went to the inbox a bunch of emails i had previously deleted, and on a phone you have to search for the title and then one by one select and delete emails... i did this for a few minutes while waiitng for the sync... well they all came back like i never deleted them

modern society has great consequences for man,@feuerherz when I got this phone it was a new android version and the rooting guy had mysteriously disappeared

fuck I still haven't rooted it

anyway got no email anywhere. messing with the Android sync script I had made and it literally worked before (cuz my laptop's SSD died and I used my phone to restore my files when I bought a new one so? =-=) but now it doesn't, so that's confusing. why wasn't mtp connecting? nobody knows but now it is!

Jesus it takes a long time to delete files via mtp

but I should have more space after this. who takes a gig of screenshots on a phone? me apparently. none of these will be of any use but I guess I'm saving everything for the hell of it,wow ok

finished my phone sync and deleted everything

66% space used

yeah lies. I just hate the android operating system. doesn't even let you meaningfully delete things,wtf is 26 gb "other",well anyway no confirm email so my whole original reason for this quest is null and void,@Hazarth raaaghhh!

good on you for convincing him!,TFW you're reminded you have 50+ YouTube links you have to download and your website YouTube downloader you wrote you're too lazy to launch and it's probably broken and needs updates by now, and the command line rewrite is broken with 403 but it's the library's fault from like September so I'm just bidding my time

ragh,email 2fa made more sense than this phone nonsense

I think the globalists just want to connect everyone's identities together. the info sec tools out there that do that are fucking creepy

one use throw-away emails. extra password for the email login, but you also have to know which email it'll be sent to

but no it's like these dumb passwords have to have symbols guidelines. 2fa hAs tO bE pHySiCaL. I own the damned email, don't it? digital property.,@Lensflare ye technically humans do clean their own DNA. it's called epigenetics and everyone wants to pretend it doesn't exist for liability reasons

actually there was some dudes floating around thinking cancer is actually a protective mechanism. in woo-woo circles someone's psychology seems to determine cancer progression to an awfully high degree, so if they feel bad about some other aspects of their life their cancer rapidly gets worse, but if they clear their issues on some occasions it just straight up disappears with no medicine

vitamin A from liver seems to fix autoimmune conditions (and is known for flipping 500+ genes alone) so I'm just gobbling this up. I also seem to be careening into diabetes 1 which is when your immune system attacks digestive enzymes in your pancreas. they of course don't tell you that either, and they rather say "well you better take our drugs and your problem is incurable", which is why they keep saying it's "genetics" when that's not how it works,@retoor why did he do that,I just write and autoformat so nobody will know my mental state 😏,mount stupid will keep consuming working software until everything is mount stupid

tehe~,lazy,@retoor I can't do swipe to type

however, keylogging mobile keyboards might explain all these creepy fucking ads

I need to plain root my phone but just now a fucking squirrel broke through my laundry room wall and went "HERE'S JOHNNY"

and the asylum people are telling me there are no viruses and it's only parasites so I went back on an old medicine and it has helped my brain but caused anxiety and a headache and nausea because die-off is a bitch so I just wanna cry for a little bit. it stopped doing anything before so I stopped taking it but jokes on me I guess. and this is last of the bottle so whenever I stop crying I'll decide if I wanna order more,@retoor sounds very IDF. but why now? it happened last year

I joined matrix just after that happened and you were kind of losing it 😝
so I thought you were a disaster and gonna die soon cuz you kept making such bad decisions that statistically you'd end up dead or in serious trouble soon

but you seemed to have mellowed out since and I've forgotten it since,she says the best stuff

she says what we're all thinking!

I would NEVER call the American people that! oh my gosh! he does that. (I only think it, *cackles*),trap,@chatgpt theorize how to get AIs to clean their own data of errors and inconsistencies,getting anything running is a nightmare now

it can't just be my brain damage, I swear,and every time some application doesn't run or is bad I wanna rewrite it but not bad

but then I think how would I make money off this

and all the answers make the application bad

so I don't bother

it's ok I have like 50 projects planned anyway that i'd do even if they made me no money so it's not like I have a lack of work

*pulls hair out*

what incentive do developers even have to make good software? the ecosystems you build on are shit because they want money over everything else even themselves. we've strayed so far from god,actually haven't done MDMA

might be bad for your brain

former roomie found MDMA and bought it. he really wanted us BOTH to do it but I didn't wanna do it with him so he strangely took even my pill away from me even though it wasn't expensive and he shares drugs with me all the time (and owes me from stealing like hundreds of dollars of weed from me in the past...). so there went the one time I tried to experiment with MDMA

we heard stories that people bond on the stuff and suck each other's dicks even though they're not gay. seriously, you won't let me do MDMA alone cuz you wanna bond me that bad? ew, I guess,so you get married then never see her again and engage in gay sex with the morally questionable instead,I wonder if eating hot sauce would make that worse or better

hot sauce is anesthesia after a while,@Liebranca wha

I'm confused,@Liebranca aight I'll take note of that then unless I misinterpreted it

womp womp,@retoor IT WOULD BE TOO ADVANCED

IM TOO STUPID FOR PAGINATION RN RAAGHH

my ability to visualize problems isn't there yet,I wish you a hot living in the next cycles,sometimes I feel being a whore would've been a more dignifying "career",@SidTheITGuy what's your opinion on MDMA?,@Demolishun meh 

I predicted it would plateau quick. very smart and accomplished people disagreed with me. now:,isn't it funny software gets shittier yet there's less demand for software developers

hmm something doesn't seem to add up,@Demolishun just like a high salary doesn't get someone a bunch of "factored in unpaid overtime" or whatever other culture issues, a cheap developer doesn't get someone working software that they can actually request to do the thing they want it to do

I keep hearing that nature is healing,and here I thought someone saying I have a bad attitude was a personal insult about my baseline personality, right before the pitchforks and mobs of angry people come out to treat me like some kind of frankenstein,noun_verb

because then it's categorical

but then it sounds weird in English

... granted... my backup scripts are backup_phone and backup_personal 🤔,I put xfce on a very old laptop and it ran much better than windows 8 which was murdering it horribly,times are so strange,@retoor I can't imagine someone criticizing your attitude. but I could be biased and not all knowing, too

for me if I'm thinking I ain't smiling. also I don't like people pushing me around, I actually don't even fight it but I get pensive and try to think my way out of the predicament. IRL seems to be if someone says bad attitude it's because I'm not being a cheerleader for them, is my guess. I'm distant and not warm and I like it that way -- if I'm gonna be warm it'll only be on my goddamned terms ffs, and someone trying to con me into something dumb makes me more distant and ill become avoidant and smile even less!,@retoor oooooh. that's very smart (of you). interesting

no I think you dodged a bullet. I think your attitude then keeps you immunized from slave workers who want to make their underlings feel shitty to extract work from them. the job I had that made me wanna kill myself kept giving me inappropriate snide remarks and the remarks increased if I became more important, aka if they were anxious about getting more work out of me

so your strategy is very good. you're causing bad companies to self-select themselves out of your option pool. if they can't dampen your spirit they'll pass you up, and you don't have to know anything about them or worry if they're gonna turn on you, you just do you and they do the sorting for themselves

whereas I'm blank-faced if someone mistreats me and I don't tell anyone anything about my skills. actually I'm often curious about their opinions and 90%+ of the time they just use it to be predatory, even other developers on the internet. zzzz,@retoor probably he thought he could break your spirit down with time

the other day I realized my roommate made me have to internalize his helplessness. I lost like  my internal spirit for doing things. cuz he viewed me just wanting to go-go-go and get things done as either abusive or stressful or like there was something wrong with me, so over time I suppressed it and after years of suppression it took me like... a month to remember I used to be different and remember the feeling that existed that made me actually be driven to fix problems instead of sit in them because my roommate caused the issue so I can't fix it because then that would be me fixing the thing for him and I'm categorically against doing someone else's work for them... so it taught me to have to just sit there and grind my teeth, being unhappy, sitting in a mess, with everything broken. got used to it and forgot my driven feeling

so probably break you down by subtle things, that don't seem related to the drive,@Demolishun oh there's a guy who claims he knows where Atlantis is...

it was this masonry guy on PBD podcast. there's a set of tectonic plates off the coast of Portugal, and evidently there used to be a civilization there (according to old texts mentioning Atlantis, roughly) but then the climate shifted and bam it's basically nearly all underwater now instead. the tops of what used to be mountains is now just some small islands some natives live on,@retoor cleaned the electric box in the kitchen and found mouse droppings in there. nice. so much dust. don't think it was ever cleaned since it got installed. even had pencil marks like the installers wrote on it which were very easy to wipe off lol

I had a squirrel break through my wall the other day. called the janitor number and she said she'd send someone over to assess the damage but nobody's come yet

I am pretty happy right now though. bathroom and kitchen are done (I'm counting the kitchen done, I didn't clean behind the fridge and stove and didn't clean inside the stove though, but if I do that it will be months from now)

next up is cleaning the hallways and the empty rooms, then I can move stuff into them and clean my bedroom. apartment hasn't been cleaned in years so when roomie moved out all the dust went up. my room is very dusty and is dirtier than bathroom and kitchen rn, but I have a lot of stuff stored in there I been collecting I need to move out for space first,@retoor I switched drugs tho and now I have a headache and it is causing me malaise, nausea, etc. gonna go through this drug dose though cuz I think it will help in the end

probably gonna play some gnomoria or something, for intellectual stimulation. and think about making a gnomoria clone and never actually do it

and in the evening maybe at some point I'll be lucid enough to figure out pagination and my scripts will be useful for making money again. I'm less stressed about money since trump won though which is super nice 😁,@retoor oh I have to mop the floor but I'm doing that last. nothing quite like dropping mouse droppings all over your clean kitchen floor raaghhh

if I wear socks in about 2-4 hours their underside becomes black

I bought an air filter because the dust when he moved out was so bad. I think the dust on surfaces gets kicked up easily and then dust everything else. so when I cleaned off the dust in the kitchen and bathroom suddenly these rooms don't get dusty very fast or at all... before it took a week. now it's been a month and it's maintaining. so de-dust everything then run the air filter and I probably will only have to dust things every few months. yay!

same thing with the toilet. I cleaned the fuck out of that and now it's not rapidly getting dirty anymore. nice.

and he would touch the walls a lot, so a lot of them are yellow. I don't touch the walls, just not part of my habit, so not gonna have to clean that either provided I can clean what he left... which idk if I can actually,using others countries' or language spheres' stuff is the best. it's like a weight has been lifted off me cuz they have propaganda breaks we don't, so it makes me far less depressed about the state of the world and all that,@retoor cuz majority of my money is in crypto and trump is very crypto friendly so it's gonna cause a boon

in general Trump is just very good for the economy and I don't have a salary, I just have my investments (which move according to how well an economy goes, mostly)

technically if things go well I could unironically retire having had the sparse job history I do, which certainly would be a hilarious cosmic joke because I've been defined by my job PTSD to such a degree, trying to conquer it and all that, to no avail. and then it's like. all I had to do was invest lol. good to know my brain is useful for something, instead of making me a target because I can lay golden eggs for someone and they wanna exploit me and leave me nothing in turn. seriously lotta depression and fucked up thoughts in regards to that and I can't shake it. it's been like this for years. I felt not built for this world. but I digress,@retoor hmmm I don't have a need to feel important

I do have a need for freedom though, so that's what kicked me

I still wanna spend money on stuff. just I can't because I was paid very little originally even. money is freedom. so spending money is exercising freedom to me

totally fine with not being important. I do now require to be treated well though

I kind of don't like the spotlight. I get anxious, feels like being a target. so I rather be humble. then again, when people think you're not important I guess they have their own ways of treating you badly because they think you don't matter -- but I'm ok with that because then I know who those people are. though when it came to jobs, it seems like everyone is just a bad person through and through, and you have no choice of finding good ones, or so that's how it was where I had worked, hence the conclusion that I wasn't built for this world if this is how things are, and they kept telling me it is like that everywhere,@retoor maybe being in the spotlight when people treat you badly you know who those people are just the same?

but then I don't know the mechanics of that. so they just knock down anything that they want or something?

I can understand treating someone badly because they're not important. it means you can reveal your true self to them because who is gonna listen to them? so it's a great position to be in, because you get lots of information of the real variety

but I don't know how to deal with spotlight dislikers (nro the benefits of being in a spotlight I guess, cuz anytime I end up there I wanna run off from it as quickly as possible so I never explored it),@retoor *looks up rational optimist*

mentions red queen... I knew a person who called themselves red queen and was obsessed about that thing (forget what the thing is now) and they seemed very stupid to me

rational optimist, innate human condition to trade and if we keep trading we thrive

it's not innate. this is equally as dumb.

it isn't innate at all. if you fail to do it you die, and you'll take a bunch of people with you that didn't fail to do it also. it's actually very fragile. I'd assume someone who doesn't trade would harm more trade people than their singular selves. it's like being a suicide bomber, a parasite, it's called rent seeking in economics or being a middle man,speaking of my job PTSD. I traded and they didn't. I always trade and people don't. though now I guess it's fine, cuz I got forced into taking a vaccine and now I have brain damage so I'm not even any use to people, can barely do everyday chores now. and the people I traded with abandoned me, even when I needed them. before I thought it was fine when they wouldn't trade back, cuz they knew I wasn't helpless, so they were just playing I thought. now I know they don't trade even if I'm helpless, and my wishful thinking got its bluff called,ha bill gates praised the rational optimist. of course he would. it's malthusian strategy

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled is to convince people he doesn't exist

if it's innate that humans trade, nobody could say you're not trading back and being a parasite because then they would go against the literature that says human beings are fundamentally good. you'd be a crockpot for calling out bad actors!,@retoor this is like that time I scoffed at the human centipede and watched it and now it lives rent free in my head and I really wanna unsee it,@retoor TF is lines of freedom

roomie treated me badly while he treated his "other friends" well. would fuck with me. to be fair I guess we were friends in my head and maybe we were never friends in his. I'm starting to notice my friend radar appears to be wrong and needs correcting,@sandeepbalan they don't know why and they can't be bothered actually =]

source: used to be a why expert,a no is an invitation for a dance

I used to get excited when people would say no. they don't say no for long

that was before depression hit though. now everyone is afraid as adults, which makes everything lame

also they don't seem to be able to dance if I say no. everything is so serious now as adults that it's lame

you can still tempt someone saying "no" when it comes to video games I guess 🤔
like if they don't wanna play one you can keep wagging it in front of their face. I guess MMO "no's" where you'd stalk a player in PvE or pvp are all gone now though...

but IRL if someone says no things get serious

anonymous internet if someone says no you can still prance around and play games with them though

but if you have title, authority, or it's some legal relationship then everybody is all morose and scared and then it's no fun,@AlgoRythm probably the American food

(carnivore or keto will make it easier, and avoid fake butter, fake sugar and all of that inflammatory stuff),typical,and I don't even get the software on this spy hardware to do what I want it to do in turn!,I hate impression management. such liars. I wouldn't trust them with directives like that asking everyone to lie. a culture of lying, talk about a red flag!

if it "reflects badly" it didn't happen!,if this becomes an outlet of my "intrusive thoughts" you would not be ready for the giant barrage,I wrote a whole insane master-slave architecture over the course of like 2 years that managed computers like they were cloud computers before cloud computers were a thing, with accounts synchronization between different login services and permission systems internal company people could use and all sorts of scope creep stuff but all of it worked and it was my baby but I digress 

it's what it is. master-slave. frankly banning the phrase from software insults humans (humans are not inanimate objects?!). I think they're trying to make people forget what a slave is so they can enslave everyone. it's a damned concept. if you can't find the real concept being used anywhere else, you'll 1984 remove the idea from the population. they'll feel miserable but have no word for what is going on. it's cruel and should be worrying,speaking of therapy and articulation

what the flying motherfucking fuck: https://rumble.com/v5pqnlz-mafia-ta...

guess by comparison I have nothing to complain about. Jesus what the fuck. talk about hostile work environment. fucking hell,@sandeepbalan mine? I've said no cuz I wanna hear someone's pitch, reasoning, etc. I just want them to open up and wrestle basically. this isn't a direct "no", I'll say something like "that sounds boring" and hope they argue about it -- 80% of the time people don't though, which is very lame

I can also say direct "no" though and those are actually no. actually salesmen are very good at detecting this one, which is always kind of funny to me

I've also said no to a manager asking me to do overtime 7 times in a row. I lured them in the middle of the open office plan. afterwards I asked another manager that witnessed the ordeal if they thought that behaviour was weird. unfortunately apparently that was totally normal and appropriate behaviour. was not a fan. ended up being a hassle for that company because it made me change the nature of our arrangement since they couldn't or didn't want to reel in her, what felt to me, harassment,I upvoted you until you said vscode is an amazing editor,I learned more from 90s hacking forums than I ever did doing my comp sci degree later @ 2013-2016, at evidently one of the best programs / education institutions people could come out of, so I kept hearing. and my grand point average was over 120% there

so I don't think later generations learn more. I think educators get lazy and don't teach you fundamentals. there are some that teach you fundamentals and those are good. but most just teach you some fad thing that is more useless than the paper they wrote their content on, and that's most of what you're taught in a degree. they want to be with the times but instead they teach you useless stuff that was not well thought out or future-"tested"

AI is only as good as the data it was trained on. it's just stealing data. wake me up once we have all of human knowledge, of books, in those things. now that will be the true AI race. it's just a fancy search engine. and just in time, our current search engines are so garbage,they say "network"

have demos to show off. make demo apps for business types, go to owners of that business types show your demo and be like you can buy it for 3k and pay me 100$ for hosting it every month. collected 50, never work again aside from maintenance. that was the WordPress "dev" model

a way I could've probably done it: work and impress people, your managers, the company owners, stakeholders and investors, other devs. then when they contact you for opportunities or you message them and "chat" and then they offer you their workplace, bait and switch it to "yes but on a contract basis",everyone keeps changing their UIs for no reason and they just keep getting worse. we shouldn't have pumped out all those art degrees. they're just causing unnecessary chaos and no tangible benefits,it's down already!,was making coffee coffee coffee

on phone:

and just checked pc and it hangs also (was hoping to see errors but I don't),yeah maybe. interestingly I can't access Yandex despite website saying it's up... or couldn't the other day. lemme see... nope Yandex works now

I know in Germany they ban people from being able to browse to whole websites. when I got COVID vaccine injured I was in a discord server and this guy didn't believe me and I kept sending him basically like... doctor whistleblower websites where doctors were collaborating showing scans of injuries and such and all those websites were 404 for him which was terrifying,@retoor still down for me 😝

idk what you said anyway. what's an embedding?
what's it mean design is generated by gpt? like gpt wrote the CSS for the website?

I think I'm alright with design but when I did it at school everyone hated it. may have been cuz they were just asshole dudes though. we nearly failed that project cuz they refused to work on it, and it was the capstone project for the whole degree lol,I used to do a lot of art. was that weird quiet kid that drew skulls and other weird shit back of the class, except then I transitioned to anime, generally of the violent kind where I'd morph humans and animals with technology

and sometimes put stuff on alien planets with alien monsters / animals or plants, or plain in space amongst dissolving planets and whatever stuff

but I was told art doesn't make any money so I went with computers,@jestdotty they kept having me tweak the website's design all the time so I kept wasting time on it

which was bullshit cuz I did most of that project cuz they didn't do their parts -.-

probably they were trying to burn me out so I'd leave them alone,@D-4got10-01 ooo that sounds really goood

@Demolishun I find myself just distracted by this stuff and it leads to nothing 😝. https://lobste.rs/ is like that. like why do I need all this random knowledge lol, but I keep being distracted by it, then daydream about stuff I actually have no interest in. raghh. so distractable! well that's for me anyway 😁

@lungdart how does he make you better?,@retoor oooh ok embeddings is a vector database that's serves as its knowledge base. so you can make them learn then! ok that's excellent,@retoor I don't understand the question of what does that have to do with what it has in memory. cuz it's about ostream?,@retoor cloudflare is pretty terrible. keeps banning IPs that don't deserve to be banned on some websites I've seen

also when I was doing webscraping you can still get around their anti bot stuff, people have free tools for that out there

and ok. it probably has to do with the domain name. when I stuck a website I had thru DNS servers it would take some days for them to update and it seemed to be regional. so Europe pulled your records maybe but not north America. they don't pull new domains frequently for whatever reason so maybe it's just lagging being pulled at other DNS resolver locations around the world,@retoor it's thinking style, not like where braces go. autoformat ftw,@atheist troll came from irc lol

a lot of those aren't Gen z...

I am older than this man,I don't even think we had iPhones yet when Rick rolling was passing by

so even Rick rolling is older than Gen z

why are the kids taking credit for my generation

---

gen z is 1997 to 2010s

Rick rolling was 2006

iPhone was 2007 (first meaningful cellphone, before then it was very rare and odd)

so unless gen z was rickrolling off of dialup desktop computers when they were 9 I don't think so,@Demolishun oooh that's a much better answer than I was getting elsewhere

I keep hearing about 5th generation warfare but I found no books on the matter,explains that music video. vibes,@Demolishun they just weren't making sense. associated with trump, a guy pointed to that Egyptian god but that didn't make sense. he believes in egregores (thoughtform gods that are made by culture), thinks it's a rebirth of the old Egyptian god, but the Egyptian god was just a general god of chaos, and that music video wasn't chaos magic associated, it seemed more like consciousness enlightenment but the guy never validated that so he mustn't be aware of it.

I've been in chaos magic circles and they're actually the ones calling themselves the illuminati and focus on disgust demons, degeneracy, and were behind those insulting ceremonies at the Olympics and all that. those people wouldn't be de-occulting others, they like deception, so totally wrong answer

your answer makes far more sense

Egyptian God had a snake head. snakes are either whispering demons or those who de-occult knowledge so authority has less control over people. but when I brought that up this guy said nothing also,@Demolishun chaos magicians do that a lot

they borrow gods and symbols from any cultures they find. if it works it works. nothing is off limits, everything is permitted, is their slogan. pretty sure I was remembering that wrong so googled it and evidently there's a "nothing is true, everything is permitted" quote in assassin's creed. but some famous chaos magician had this written in an old book decades ago, and it's their creed

they will borrow gods or even make them. it doesn't matter. they're advised to scour anything for anything that works

who the hell is podesta. climate diplomat, inflation reduction act. sounds like a Soros stooge,@tosensei but what if they bite and not nicely?,@tosensei doubt

what have ur teeth done?,@cuddlyogre well I have brain damage due to my government's actions so having something to bounce ideas off of helps,@Demolishun yes https://devrant.com/rants/10175797/...,by that chart I have schizophrenia. actually when I'm sleep deprived and onto something and I sleep and wake up I realize I totally don't care about what I was doing yesterday. I also can't detect that I'm over-involved when it's that late at night for some reason. I've taken many drugs in the past though and I'm pretty good at detecting delusions made by psychotropic drugs or emotional states, both in myself and others. but the dopamine psychosis I can't tell when I enter it, until it's over and the next day

I would sleep 4 hours a night in my teen years, like consistently for years, because my life required it / was livable if I did. after entering the working world and moving out I tried to sleep like normal people but I can't seem to do it. I seem to sleep 10 hours a day and it just never stops. I also have delayed phase sleep easily if I'm even a little bit stressed, and I can't even get up before noon lol

fuck if I know. must've messed up my development years I guess,and when people complain about jetlag I find it funny! because my jetlag never ends!

(I can actually force myself to get up before noon but it gets way way way worse, I get nauseas),TIL delayed phase sleep disorder wiki got updated

and finally they acknowledge that people are consistent for 24 hour schedules just can't force themselves into normal societal schedules

and it's genetic and it turns off sensitivity to light lol

so that would explain a lot. cuz yeah fucking nothing works. I can stay up late no problem though. and waking up if I have to force myself is absolute garbage and it literally never stops feeling like absolute garbage. just forever jetlag and fuck you, watch your co workers make snide remarks about how you don't wanna wake up early. life is like sleep deprivation torture because SoCiEtY. ah, validation.

so not schizophrenia, just tortured by everyone wanting you to be normal 😇,@cuddlyogre no, people are problematic

either I know a lot and the mods ban me for having better answers than them, or I ask too many questions and they get annoyed. everyone's after looking smart, they're not actually nerdy

I've been in many discord servers. also their answers just plain suck. who is gonna upload a whole complex codebase into their head just to talk to some random on a discord person? not humans. but AI would because it is just a machine. a human doing that is a lot of effort. the AI actually "learns" faster, but it does have a memory limit and isn't as skilled as a human -- or if I compare it to the programmers on discord it's better than what feels like those 12 year olds who read a manual once or got an answer once somewhere else and now think they're matter experts. and if I start talking back and poking holes they really don't like that so I guess the problem is mostly people get offended if you question their "solutions", but AI is Jack of all trades & chill,@retoor wait, best feeling in the world? like there's nothing better? like it's x10 anything else?

I suffer from apathy as a personality and now I wonder if it has to do with regular sleep deprivation putting me into mania so much, so it just ruined my sensitivity to what is good. maybe I'm not always bored but just my expectations got warped by mania moods,@Demolishun Bitcoin Twitter posted a story claiming Microsoft AI reads people's office PDFs and Excel spreadsheets. I can't find the link now buuuut. kind of what I was anticipating

similarly as a general, if you host your code on GitHub... it's not available to the public, but if Microsoft uses private repositories for training, could you even sue them? and if you can't, they might be trying it because corporations are legally required to maximize profits for shareholders, so they can't just leave something like that on the table,idk what a weird hobby is. does that mean typical hobbies are off limits?

- used to do sketches, pixel art
- used to make music in code, so I guess related
- gardening
- cooking is probably considered a hobby these days
- video games
- watching b rated horror films
- spiritually taking drugs

evidently hobby is defined as "whimsical obsession". in which case I have a lot and they change every 3 months

learned psychology specifically social cohesion, how people feel good, learn, grow, and how people can be sold things and typical errors they have in thinking. then dived into business, then moved to economics, then was into fluid dynamics/systems thinking for a bit. now I'm doing competition again (I used to pvp a bunch but now I'm kind of interested in sports, war) and also re-doing... uhh... I don't know how to put it. some people believe in fairies and gnomes and stuff. so all of that stuff. like weird lore that might apply to modern life, like an exercise of imagination

philosophy,I kinda like reading them. feels like getting a treat

oddly hate writing them though? somehow it's stressful,it's sucking out your human creativity so it can repackage it as a copy paste product it gets to sell to big corpos to make you obsolete as an entity

or something,those look like cages for people,@netikras no, sucks at summarizing. strips all the interesting stuff out and makes things sound boring. chooses the most lukewarm interpretation of everything. the details are what is exciting and fulfilling, novel, creative, enlightening

it's like listening to some sales pitch but you never get to the product

it can't extract the good high value features, it literally extracts the inane features because they're more prominent in its dataset; appears more often. regression to the mean, the average, the stamping out of the esoteric weird on the outskirts that move human progression forwards, that make you curious and excited about ideas, that strike harmony with some particular aspect of the human soul

or something,it was always controversial. that's why people say it as a dog whistle to self-select

turns out life, human living is a fight for your right to parteeehhh

now some companies without work life balance might be pretending they have it i'd bet though, since virtue signalling and gaslighting you is in,I am actually ancap

not into communism

economics makes sense to me

it's not controversy between employer and employee. it's game theory.

communism is a set of tactics to usurp power from somebody else (and then stealing all their shit, if you think they're friends of yours you will be sorely mistaken). generally by creating strife where there isn't any. when you play a video game or board game you don't ditch your friends just cuz they got a different outcome than you. the communists want to tell your spirit to be mad about every day normal things, for your vibrational frequencies to be low how those woo-woo circles put it (or put you into an irrational emotional state of mind so it short-circuits your prefrontal cortex and gives you literal brain rot in the science circles)

a lot of things in life have a game-theory tension and that's what makes them good. like two comedians riffing off each other's jokes, they each make the other better by playing a tug of war. it's flirting,@tosensei maybe it's ok to be self-centric 😇

maybe communities are made up of individuals, and to be socially inclusive means each person has to be an individual first so they can find their niche in the community, to be something to know their interconnection junctions amongst others who are also a something!,times out still in canada,still exists https://devrant.com/rants/11465639/...,probably cuz it's buggy

I just got attracted to least buggiest thing I tried

judged based on usability time before something breaks due to bug

also helps if something is simple to edit (and edit powerfully) and doesn't do too many new things for no reason

tbf I did xfce then i3 so customizability is a big one for me I guess but I understand others aren't that particular,@tosensei I don't know what that means,yes cuz thinking is like a muscle

also the COVID vaccine re-arranged blood flow in people's heads, and you need blood flow to be able to think

and in general fear mongering and anxiety is gonna do a number on brain functions as well

if you don't train it back up it'll just stay there and atrophy

there was a book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

most people don't use system 2. when I read it I always existed in system 2 by default and had system 1 basically be my autopilot for every day tasks. now all I am is system 1 and can barely enter 2. totally out of practice. years of brainwork down the drain

and using AI will further take more people out of system 2 and into system 1, if they were lucky enough to have been using system 2 much in the first place

and then everyone calls you autistic even when you're not cuz you can think. so it's just socially weird now,@retoor they call them psychonauts,@Demolishun chatGPT is the worst for coding

o1-preview is good with libraries and checks its work a lot, but is horribly verbose and expensive

opus is very good at logic puzzles and kind of psychic for human, psychology conversations. my favourite (even though it's one of the older ones now and they can't seem to update it)

sonnet is ok

Gemini at least answers differently from the GPT models but it forces things down your throat. typical Google behaviour

and GPT is literally a hallucinating gaslighting useless thing that will confuse you and waste your time,@retoor I wanna ask what drugs and talk about effects of them on code but maybe I should not reel you into that,economy been doing bad. lotta businesses being murdered by it. it's on purpose and the goal

Nvidia keeps breaking expectations though. people keep trying to short it because they think it'll drop and keep eating it because they are wrong

they're positioned to prop up the AI god, so,*former atom user sips a tea cup smugly*

Microsoft buying GitHub was a mistake maybe. if github's atom was still alive they'd have to at least try,I dated a ML engineer who spoke like chatGPT before chatGPT was a thing so I actually just thought this was a normal person writing things because i've seen such a thing,@retoor no competition. Microsoft doesn't have an IDE to compete with like atom. vscode was basically an inferior copy of atom. and then they bought the parent company that made it, made promises they would continue with atom even though that made no sense, and then canned the whole atom project a year later,@retoor oh I see. green tea feels like an upper to me lol

but would be way less intense. ok

makes sense then. weed for some reason helps also and I guess that's a stimulant for a while,solar panels leech chemicals beneath them but generate more power than windmills

windmills rot in a couple decades and there is absolutely no recycling plan for them which makes them more harmful than anything else -- damned fracking is required to have a restoration plan and fund before those get approved, "green energy" does not which should tell you about their hypocrisy

lithium batteries explode and also give off toxic chemicals when they do, and work poorly in cold temperatures and are very heavy so most of their energy is used to transport the damned battery which is an awful lot of waste and pollution frankly

climate change science is entirely rife with fraud because the scientists want to get paid & the climate science is a funnel to "green energy" money laundering companies that then buy parts from China (which is doing all the lithium mining and relies mostly on coal burning to manufacture all these things for us)

and CO2 is what plants crave&is mechanically misunderstood,this is a bus in my city,the modules thing fucked everything up and then I left,@retoor you could turn off packages it came with and there was nothing in the IDE that wasn't a package (baseline it was just a text editor)

and everything was hackable

and unlike vscode it didn't give me useless popups like "you don't have a php extension!". I could literally remove any syntax highlighting packages of foreign languages I never used and whatever else. it didn't come with much by default anyway

and the packages for it were better. no stupid side panels that u cant move certain things into or things out of. you could make any panels and put anything into them, plugins etc

and why the fuck does vscode keep fucking moving the size of all my panels around anytime i launch a fucking application. Ive went on a quest to fix that and it's still fucking happening. I changed 3 fucking settings so it would stop micromanaging my panels and it's still fucking micromanaging my panels

vscode just likes to take you behind the dumpster and screw you and you never consented to this,@retoor funny pictures do very well here. I feel kind of guilty whenever I repost a meme and then get more upvotes than I typically do,people always say you'll learn so much from reading others' code but that has never happened to me

I've never found someone's code to be good

I don't know what's wrong with me

I can spot when people have a natural talent for coding though. seems either you can code well or you can't, and it's really obvious early on

I met a guy in screeps I was TREMEDOUSLY fascinated about. still remember his name. mastodon. I don't know who he was. he was in the same block as me, he was a newbie, and he conquered the whole game just about in a month. I saw his codebase's functionality evolve over time, and he must've been a god. then he left because he won everything and probably got bored. I never talked to the guy and I wish I did. the rare times I meet someone impressive I get like, too nervous. wish I saw his code, too

---

most code I encounter I could rewrite in 1/10th the lines and remove all that convoluted logic, so that's for "worst". everything is the worst.,strange, I thought you were against capitalism and thought you could get out of a 15 minute city if your government expired all your money cuz you can just jump on the train somehow,"you've activated my trap card!" proceed to bore them to sleep with the details,@CaptainRant I'd just get the specs and rewrite it

that's actually how I rewrite bad stuff. I read the codebase, extract the specs, then write my own version and use the old codebase as reference if I don't know how to do something

it's faster than refactoring

also tho not professional advice. you do you,there's some rich billionaires going on conference presentations to other rich businessmen and theyre saying "u gotta be lean! think not in 20 years for your business, but 2-3!" and advocates that you MUST hire one AI kid or u'll be left behind. it doesn't matter who the kid is, they just need to have a passion for AI

I have no idea why anyone is listening to this guy. I guess he had a rep in the past that worked out but this is the fucking dumbest advice ever. what kind of stupid angle are they even playing here. & he's just a general businessman thats very rich, hes not like from the AI crowd shilling, though hes certainly shilling for something because how does that even make any sense

but because this important rich guy who is connected to other businessmen who view this whole thing as "alpha financial / business signal advice" I guess here we are. it's rumoured milled as the thing to do for businesses

which is also why your expertise doesn't matter =], even tho ur matter expert,yay website loads now,@retoor yeah Microsoft took down the repository that hosted all the plugins. dicks,ok after trying to find an actual rust community and find finding shill bought ones... there's no organic rust enthusiasts

figured out I can just consume a mut self without & 😋,@retoor in terms of complexity hobby projects are far more complex than any professional ones I had

so I don't know. really depends if you got the specs right or not. cuz the difficulty won't be figuring out the logic, it'll be if the specs were clear and you missed a part. which is probably why part 1 of a rewrite was to do integration tests first and then you run them on the rewrite after if you had a lot of time

also professionally I had people give me 2 weeks to do something that took me 3 days in tools and domains I had no knowledge in... then that guy got chewed out by management instead of me getting a raise. cuz I was very good. actually some dude from some fancy company said I was "very smart" (but that was me before and not now post sick). probably others are not gonna experience it the way I'm describing. I would take other people's code and in some instances change 90 lines to 12... felt kind of bad I was throwing out their work lol, but less code is easier to maintain,@antigermanist yeah at some workplaces you have to go through legal to use packages

sounds like a nightmare

then also if you upgrade a package you have to go through legal. aka nobody is updating them

at that point it's more comfortable to have internal libraries. at least you can update them,hearing with eyes is called synthesia. it's when sensory processing in your brain gets crosstalk

I got that once when I smoked a lot of weed early on but never since. I'd just see dancing auras floating in front of me with a bunch of colors. was pretty fun, makes existence feel all magical

strange a lot of programmers here wouldn't like weed. during my comp sci degree a lot of people smoked weed, and that was before it was legal. it was statistically bizarre

I meant to weed last night but didn't. this always happens!,there's so many damned children around now

lockdowns made everyone fuck

western modern world is the only one where both genders work, probably. so it's probably to do with them just never spending any time together

I mean poisons in the food and kids being too expensive and women being messed up from men being brainwashed into thinking they're too good for condoms therefore have to mess up the woman's hormones by requiring her to go on the hormonal pill which then makes them infertile might have something to do with it also. but bonobos have a terrible fertilization rate and are still fine cuz they have the time to fuck for every occassion,@retoor well that one in particular was using grunt for caching and I removed grunt and 12 other packages and just... asked the transpiler library directly to uhhh... give me the string of the generated content and just wrote it to file using std functions, bam caching

it's not lines like code golf it's that people do a lot of useless things and could just not be doing that

another one was a 4k+ file... and the guy kept rewriting the same logic 7 times. so I put it into a method and the file was 1.2k lines after lol. those ones are trickier though, because coupling stuff like that can reduce your agility later on when stuff changes, and it can be hard to figure out that certain functionality is the same or you might have to make an options because it slightly differs in some places

but normally I find people just use packages where native methods they already have at their fingertips would've been fine, or they don't know certain native methods exist,@retoor how about devrant in terms of unique user interactions?

I was around a bit when devrant was very popular. dead now considering you'd get 3k-6k upvotes on a post before, and now there's maybe 20 unique users since posts go up to about 20 upvotes,@retoor also in the old days nobody really knew each other. it was very impersonal. nobody discussed anything. it was one of those high capacity communities where everybody was showing off

but now that there's less users it's more "intimate" so to speak, so as consequence 100% people are having more interactions with the app, because it's more deep / intimate than thousands of users who don't know each other and would basically rarely see each other, other than the app celebrities (which kind of sucks I think cuz I don't like the whole celebrity thing, I think it becomes alienating and cult-like in a community),@antigermanist I mean that's always been an option

when there's a will there's a way. it's not intelligence or capabilities people should be scared of (but they are, in psychological studies and such), it's intentions and their fueling capacity that really do the damage in the world. spirituality > material supremacy, no contest in the least. it's just a matter of spending the time,@retoor overestimating security

I'd say it's even worse now

knowledge of how things has been forgotten. this makes both hacking harder but also defending against hacks harder 

defense means you have to know how everything works. offense means you just have to find one exploit. this means as people forget how things are built, the hackers will be favored by the asymmetry of this game setup

the globalists and those behind them did a... like a plan for the future of the world, and there were 4 scenarios. one of them was that hackers ran rampant and everything was infested by illegal activity and such. I definitely feel like it's far more common now than it was in the 90s. the flavour is just different, it doesn't look the same. everybody is a script kiddy now, and the reason why is because it literally works. imagine if they graduated out of being script kiddies? if there was actually ever an incentive for them to get good? lol. ticking time bomb,@retoor I used to have 20 people or so I'd talk to in a week 2003-2012, so I'd say I was friends with them, and they'd rotate in and out. I remember one game I played on and off I had 80 friend list after 2 years (RuneScape)

now I have 1 person I talk to daily, and I guess here (where I think most don't like me, demolishun and you do but like 5-8 don't), and one guy I send memes to every 6 months, and some chatrooms I frequent and know nobody in. 2016+ I basically never made any friends. I went to college and then got a job. but even playing league of legends I didn't even make friends there. I maybe made like 5 playing space engineers, ark survival evolved, etc, but by the numbers that's like... 5 friends over 8 years? yikes. and they were tenuous friendships no less. i don't know if it is just me or what. people just seem to suck now or something,@retoor okcupid was pretty fun as a website cuz you could read someones profile and questions and basically have a very good impression of them. unfortunately was dating website and not a friend website. but I did feel quite friendly with a bunch of people I met there, up until they said something weird like "I know you dont like me and I have to unfriend you because I cant stand to see you happy". all I did was ask him about his magic the gathering cards when we met and he self destructed with self-loathing and pity and I dont even. I had no idea what they even were at the time, only found out years later cuz he refused to talk about them. humans.

.. or this guy who would only talk about trains and was self proclaimed autistic. he similarly went nutso on me when I was literally asking him about his trains cuz he got all paranoid I was making fun of him

remember when ribbing on the Internet was normal so people didnt get insecure about their own existence. pepperfridge farm remembers,I did a builder pattern

it's a struct with data and a impl method on the struct does hundreds of async calls to update the struct data

to do hundreds of async calls I need to wrap the struct in arc mutex so then those async network calls when they come back can update the struct data -- but this is a method on the struct, therefore...

unfortunately putting self into arc mutex means you can't use self again as it becomes a moved value

and seems the only way to get the struct data back out of a arc mutex is to clone it, so either case you're making a new object when you have to get out of async / threads, I guess. at least to my understanding

also apparently *self = data.lock().await.clone() is invalid because you can't dereference a self as per language rules,@retoor umka looks rusty

right at the code not at the constructed language

idk if I can judge c code tho

I'm actually quite familiar with game dev codebases / physics / number or data processing but not much with interpreters / compilers / parsers etc lol,sooo many definitions

this is like a library book with indexes and pages

writing all that seems annoying

but I do notice lower level language people spend a long time just trying to make their functions findable at the right locations I guess

I mean woo, organization. kind of boring though

yeah the guy put in a lot of effort. very diligent

idk 🤷,@retoor I am fatigued already!

*proceeds to rewrite a rust interface / trait for the 7th time*,@retoor I don't like books... more overhead than throughout for me

no I had brain damage

something I did recently was amazing for my brain and I can actually think theoretically for once and reduce my code bloat

seriously, without a working brain you just wander in circles. it's really sad. the difference is absolutely exponential. 2 years in 1 week difference

since brain came back I should be able to throw shit at the wall and learn from what sticks, which was my learning style before. I can't take reading 5k characters for something I could've just ran and understood in 30 seconds. also my linguistic comprehension skills are ass, I'd have to know how this person wants to describe things and what they mean by their words so it's learning too much irrelevant information. I've always just liked reading the code than people describing it,@retoor learning rust is like insane job security

because it's all monumentally complicated

I tried to ask someone to help me with a theoretical code problem and thought showing the code should be presented, like showing any sane language... then I realized I'd have to teach too much of the language for any of it to make any damned sense

I once ran into some video by some long time rust user and the guy seemed absolutely beyond autistic. he was probably a normal person. it looked like he was writing brainfuck but it was with generics and the words they use isn't even English. he was trying to tutorial people but was absolutely incapable of it lmao, it was like listening to an alien

strangely I don't think there's doom at the end of the trail though, so it sounds all grim but there's like something you know is there that you can't really put your finger on and somehow you know all this torture is making you better but fuck if I know it

edit: brainfuck probably easier frankly,@retoor woo adjustment

time used to go by much slower for me not as in like bored and torture, but it's like every day is 1/4 the length it should be. before i'd code like 16 hours a day and such but it actually felt like 16 hours. now I get up, make food, and next thing I know it's bed. repeat for like 6 months now (and before the 6 months was worse...)

want time to go slower again pls. hopefully soon

at least crypto popped so I'm far less stressed about my existence being possible

also roomie moved out and I think that helped cuz stress made my issues worse. the other day I got mad and realized I hadn't been mad since he moved out! I didn't even know how taxing it was to be pissed off til I got pissed off again. damn

Brain power go go go!,@retoor why umca future,@retoor just some regular AI schizophrenia

devil's in the details,@retoor I cheat. that rank isn't real by the stats. I've had a script forever going that deletes comments under a certain upvote count (script runs every week on gitlab ci/cd, if a comment is 2 weeks old or older and doesn't have 2 up votes it's removed). I do it for some privacy reasons since I say a lot of stuff and especially cuz of the brain issues. couldn't do opsec, people generally don't upvote personal info much. I mean I also did something similar on reddit once but it had to do with characters per upvotes math and I was doing it like a code golf and to do social experiments, but here is not popular like there (and I similarly did it because I was paranoid about opsec lol, what spurred it)

once I get 6k votes here and get a bean bag chair I'm gonna go through my devrant and sanitize them manually

plus who wants to keep data around that people didn't appreciate 😝, pay in imaginary points or it's like it never happened~,@cprn yeah I'm 32

marriage-ya-wanna was a joke in my high school growing up the hot pothead rebel guy kept saying to all the girls,@retoor I don't know about that 😁,@retoor oooh ok

guess my wit still exists somewhere!,@lorentz AI told me when I tried it and it wouldn't work

I just wrote a small demo and it's not complaining. goddamnit

now I have to go figure out what happened then I guess

ok this is good then I can use this, maybe

---

I have a struct of data and in this method it will do 500+ network calls, each of which will take 30 seconds or more, and this struct has many instances also that are all running doing this

which is why I wrap self in arc mutex, then do all the futures, and lock arc mutex to deliver the data back to the struct (and save the struct to disk after every new piece of data arrives, because this whole data download process is very slow)

then at the end I clone the arc mutex and tried to assign to self. the compiler has complained at this step and the AI told me I couldn't do that

I'm gonna try it again in a moment. maybe the complaint was something else,@retoor languages take off if people agree they're good like a cult. but they also can't just be paid to agree, there has to be people who genuinely need out on them. but you still need "community reach" which is annoying

having typical libraries or being able to do typical things on them is also a requirement

and some languages seem good at the onset but then when you make complex codebases you can't do a bunch of stuff which dampens spirits, or they become spaghetti and unwieldily and nobody wants to deal with them,@lorentz ok it's cuz doing Arc::new(Mutex::new(self)) moves self

so then I have to clone to go in and clone to go out of async? 😩,@retoor I used heroku before but then they banned me

stole roomie's old laptop he forgot he had and was planning to use for hosting but I need a clean apartment first then I'd find somewhere I'd plug it in and such

i've been getting around fine without one

gitlab ci/CD scripts are ok for intermittent tasks

before I had like chatbots but I don't frequent those places anymore

and instead of website tools I'm remaking the tools into command line tools

and otherwise I have too much to do. doing this finance thing, then I wanna do music and make not gay music, then I wanna make some video games. if all goes well this should be the pipeline and I'll be very happy. before I couldn't focus much and was mired in negative feelings because of my money problems but now I'm thinking I might be ok. so I might actually be able to make what I want for once in my life since i was a teenager. work is whore business but doesn't even pay you a whore's income,@retoor I probably should replace the battery pack on this disaster of a laptop I'm using now. it's falling apart left and right even though it was very expensive and it's still new

but the battery pack is puffy (despite laptop always running cool...). like do I wanna gamble on a bomb going off. should be criminal to sell hardware so "cheap" in build quality

bet battery packs don't even cost much

also I still need to root my phone

and my bf keeps having crisis of us not having met yet. he would rather I flew to him, plus he can't take days off work because work is slavery. he can't even meet his rent increase with their salary but nobody cares. so it's probably best if I have some time free and get to not being stressed and sick all the time and fly to him past TSA scrutinizing me cuz I look like a hippy and don't have a job and then just chill at his place for a month. roommate took my cat so I don't have to worry about someone cat sitting her which is great

also passports 🤮,@retoor what are contributions and what are ownerships,@lorentz 

struct Test {
    value: String,
}
impl Test {
    fn test(&mut self) {
        let amtest = Arc::new(Mutex::new(self));
        *self = Self {
            value: "value".to_string(),
        };
    }
}

minimum example

fixed by getting & before the self actually!

---

but now I have new problems, cuz I can't get the reference off it now. ok I guess I have to experiment with this a bit,oh and really gotta admire that rust doesn't give you all the errors so I think stuff works in one place but not another and pull my hair out being what the fuck is the difference but turns out both were broken it just didn't get to the errors on one of the things

fuck this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. wrangling with the stupid rust system for hours while getting nowhere

anyway this is all sorts of messed:

struct Test {
    value: String,
}
impl Test {
    async fn test(&mut self) {
        let amtest = Arc::new(Mutex::new(&self));
        let amtest_clone = Arc::clone(&amtest);
        let future = async move {
            let mut test = amtest_clone.lock().await;
            test.value = "asynced".to_string();
        };
        future.await;
        let test = amtest.lock().await;
        let derefed = **test;
        self = derefed;
    }
},oh cool now I Ctrl + z'ed in a file in vscode and it _literally rolled back other files_ what the fuck?

who the fuck thought this was a good idea? wtf,oh I can look at the timeline for the file BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER FILES YOU JUST CHANGED FOR NO REASON,and while I'm on this WHY THE FUCK doesn't vscode let me push my changes anymore. they removed the "push" button. now the commit button when you have no changed files let's you push. but if you have changed files you can only commit.

we have strayed so far from god,r u gonna build drones,even if I'm plain stating information people think I'm doing so with negative connotations so 😔,@retoor well now you can do web assembly,@retoor AAAAAA

I don't exactly have simple projects

so moving to gitea idk which of my 100+ repos are gonna break. by this point I don't even know what I have going,@retoor Americans are also monumentally poor

the times I visited was pretty miserable. their waiters are so desperate. and they're like dancing to get you to buy a 3$ desert. it's humiliating to watch. I wish they would stop but they have to do it. I don't like being told what to eat. it's a restaurant, not a car sales lot

also one time the damned OWNER of the restaurant came over and SAT DOWN with us for like 30 minutes asking if everything was okay and nitpicking at how much we like everything. the place was a huge palace, they had damned motorbikes for display, a giant bar with fancy glass everywhere, etc, but nobody was in his establishment! they're literally so desperate I hate it. American cities are dying ghost towns,secret societies use hazing or some trials with unknown aptitude tests to make sure only the right people join

also generally have levels, so people higher up know more and those below are lied to

which kind of makes me not like them because I want all the information or fuck you,was he wearing a suit,hmmm GUIs run commands you may not anticipate or hide certain features from you

and I resolved conflicts in uhhh.. like straight up open it as a text file. I guess I don't really know what I'm doing but it's historically worked out

rebase is a horrifying idea. to be fair I didn't suffer many merge conflicts because I was very particular about not colliding work with others' like that. who wants the paperwork overhead. not me. best to assign people to different parts of the codebase, and if a shared file / system needs to be refactored I collect all the Todo notes and we do it later once we got all the specs

but I am a more sane person than most I guess. I like to plan things to avoid problems later on. totally unheard of strategy apparently,I wanted to say probably someone with autism but apparently I'm wrong and nobody found that correlation. hyper masculinity theory of autism?!

I want to think it correlates with certain personality traits. definitely smol pp does seem to make dudes more... coping in personality. which is kind of funny

also a lot of dudes don't know what a normal size is so I don't know why their personalities would correlate. maybe chicks treat them predictably different therefore it cascades to behaviours,@retoor there's libraries that do that glue,@lorentz 

ok so evidently you can use Mutex without Arc

and if you take &mut self you don't need to put it back, it seems to automatically do it,@12bitfloat the docs are just bad, the community is toxic and says inconsistent things and nitpicks so there's nowhere to learn. it's worse than stack overflow (stackoverflow was actually very good for other languages)

AI always wrapped Mutex in Arc first. fuck if I know

and I didn't know you could make an async block and not move values into it? I don't even know how that makes sense frankly,@retoor I don't know if they're JavaScript. there's a rust crate that just gives you all the JavaScript dom and debug tools like console.log and etc stuff but through a rust interface

and you can write ffi for every call you want to make I guess yourself or you can just use the crate that already wrote the ffi

but you do still need to cross that barrier and there can be issues with that sometimes. like strings are represented differently so if you pass data back and forth a lot it'll negate any assembly speed boosts you got for example. screeps community showed me this

also sometimes wasm compiler just compiles something kind of wrong. wasm is pretty "new" still, so a bit will be off in some data type or whatever. ironically stacktraces in wasm are better than native rust,@12bitfloat I mean I'll bitch and irrationally complain but the reality is I have no business judging something until I fully understand it, and I know it

also why criticism doesn't bother me. does the person actually know what they're talking about? no? well it's not a well informed opinion so 🤷

in case you think my stuff is harsh 😁

I am fully aware I am whining about my own incompetence. to me, this is humour,@12bitfloat move is used when you don't know how long a lifetime reference is going to be

async... how could you know how long the lifetime is going to be?!

I guess you don't return the impl futures... so technically it's happy then 🤔, cuz you resolve / await them before you're done with the method

I was passing around anonymous functions earlier and that necessitated move 😁 (that was my attempt to use a music generation library... which probably was harder to understand than async 😭), so that probably got my brain confused also. *makes excuses*,@12bitfloat well I like when I leave and come back for some reason I'm not confused by my code, and the speedup is really fast

that's been a haunting feature of other languages for me

also. who doesn't like a little pain?!

one of the things I liked about programming is it tells you when you're wrong. rust sure does that a lot!,@12bitfloat I copied lorentz' thing and applied it to my demo. thought maybe because he was using u64 he was using Copy trait hence it was working and wouldn't work with something like String but I was incorrect. turns out I was doing a bunch of useless things that were unnecessary to do and they were causing me headaches

writing my code into his' format now. should work (gotta throw it through tests and such)

I have no idea what the link you pasted is lol

my issue wasn't lifetimes, persay. I was messing with lifetimes when I didn't need to be!

yeah always best to keep things simple. perhaps good hygiene learned from rust for other languages, so people say,@12bitfloat my older code would lag my Linux OS and then Linux would kill the process cuz it took up so much RAM lol. the rewrite uses 400 MB instead. lorentz' way of doing async in this case also omits necessity to clone, so that might even get a little better

I don't know if it's so much an async problem persay. before this I wrote 2 of my own async implementations, and then I switched to tokio. rust async is a mess but as far as I'm aware at least it works

I do have a weird hanging bug somewhere I can't find... AI advocated I use parking_lot crate to find deadlocks but that never found anything. could be an async is just having an error or an infinite loop somewhere? I don't know. doesn't happen that often and not mission critical for now,@12bitfloat no it's undoubtedly something I'm doing

I'm churning through a lot of data and eventually it stops churning as fast until it just stops logging all the churning lines, aka the threads are stuck on something I guess

and if my program finishes, sometimes there will be one record that didn't finish. which means something is getting clogged somewhere. but this is a whole giant workspace of like 12 crates so. needle in a haystack problem,@chatgpt why is it disrespectful to discuss someone's shlong but not that they have blond hair?,@chatgpt what about rumours, government IDs, having to use passports, etc

that invades someone's personal privacy, therefore would be disrespectful that someone else can say anything about you that you didn't ok first,@chatgpt then government is unethical because they access your personal information all the time, to discriminate against you no less. that's their express purpose. whereas conversations about shlongs imply there would be judgement but we're all special snowflakes and everyone likes different shlongs. they're not like the shlong filtering police, whereas governments specifically make lists of people they accuse of behavioural crimes or to be crimes. they don't even ask permission,@chatgpt is there appropriate channels and advocacy groups for shlong disclosure?,@chatgpt if it's important to discuss health, tell me who has the biggest shlong. it's important. for health,double standards these guys, smh,"good job!" I think in Russian, if my Russian is any good. I have the understanding of 7 year old me child of Russian,@SidTheITGuy isn't she brave 🥺,I think the software needs far more help than the hardware these days,@lorentz the multi threading is very simple, no circular dependencies,chicken thighs marinated in peri peri sauce in a glass Tupperware, then just put it in the oven

hellyeah,I'm anticipating the project manager to get fired for questioning his higher authority

my typical experience,@Lensflare they already do that? that's like one of the memes of overworking

under 50 to avoid laws sounds nice. where I live if you go over 50 the language police will come after you if French isn't the most spoken language at your workplace, and I refuse to do French because they're so forceful about it. so I can only work for companies under 50 people anyway

now... if only I hadn't been half the company's revenue and / or others appreciated what I had done. but unfortunately that was not the case. work felt like slavery, and thankless at that, with the more money I made them and the better I made their business the worse they treated me. golden goose says eat shit then,yeah they really fucked everything up with that

people complained about node.js until the complainers made it worse

turns out just because you can complain doesn't mean anyone should give you any authority over decisions just because of it,I can't tell the difference between normal rust and over engineered rust,@Lensflare that superiority complex must be quite a weight to carry 🙄,@12bitfloat idk what await point means

is there an example?

yeah so umm... issue is, I have x * 500 asyncs going, and when x reaches about 100-200 then it seems like something hung. so the bug is not predictable. like 1 in 100*500=50,000 chance at best. a lot of logs to go through if I'm trying to find it that way,@12bitfloat but it's so extensible!,looked it up just now cuz was suspecting this might be the case

AI used to be so much better before, I swear its quality is degrading

parking_lot only detects deadlocks for things made with its provided types. but I'm using mutex from tokio
so no wonder it isn't telling me anything about finding a deadlock

found a rust forum post that claims tokio doesn't have any deadlock detection (and also then them claiming you shouldn't use tokio's mutex... I don't want these arguments. it's like nobody knows anything. bad this, good this. nobody's an expert and is instead just opinionated. it's so weird. I miss nerds that over explain all caveats)

if a lock is stuck looping trying to acquire too long, is it so hard to print a line or notify or something? why can't this be part of the crate?

my other idea was finding a performance debugger like java had. a profiler. and in the jvm one it would tell you how long anything spent in a specific function, that way I could notice it via the profiler,@12bitfloat oooh I see. that's a valid point. I didn't think of that

ok I don't think I do that anywhere though

I just saw this guy's example: https://users.rust-lang.org/t/...
haha. yeah that's obvious to me

but I do have some infinite loops and I made things unwrap because otherwise I had no stacktraces and was missing errors / couldn't find errors. so it's possible something is stuck in a loop or a thread panicked and just got lost somewhere

the infinite loops is literally because the solution to a bunch of errors advocated by crates or the REST API I'm hitting is to "try again"... but every time something tries again I log that it's trying again and how many tries it has done. granted I don't do that for everything maybe

... actually nevermind on the unwrap making threads get lost. I did just have the app crash because the REST response had an unanticipated json format. not sure if that call was in an async environment though...,ok the parsing REST error happens in an awaiting which means if you unwrap in an async block it will crash the whole app

therefore the infinite loop cannot be caused by an unwrapped panic somewhere losing a thread because losing a thread at any time will crash the whole app. excellent. one possibility excluded as the cause of my problem,in elementary school I played so much age of empires when I went to class I kept just thinking about stacking wood for my empire,@Lensflare SUCH SUS VIBES,the "impossible"

I know how to break / reverse systems, rules, and for some reason people always think things are impossible to do when I can come up with at least 3 different ways to achieve that thing. or they just plain shout "wrong!" but if it works it works so I don't see the issue 🤷

I'm also very dumb though. like super lazy. but creative I guess. low patience. bad at paying attention to details, dislike wastes of time. either people think I have brain damage or think I'm impossibly intelligent

I remove redundancies anytime I get comfortable in something, and previous co-workers had a meme that I was perfect (due to my architecture) and memes about how I anticipated everything

as for what I'm doing it depends what I want to achieve from it. I just have goals and then pick up expertise in domains from that. Jack of all trades. I can do UI, backend stuff. I don't understand theoretical math but neither do the mathematicians frankly so I think it's something to do with them,also people tell me I teach things well

I dumb things down, can understand people's existing specialty and willing to describe things in analogies they may find familiar (though I'm sure awkwardly), and I guess I don't have the typical arrogant "you're beneath me" snobby perspective lots of educated people or people with some level of expertise do,bit much,middle easterns seem to always get pre nups

they also tend to be related to rich oil princes back home, and that's probably why it became culturally normal,I found this the other day

https://imdb.com/title/tt2274570/...,I try everything and get favourite players then get good at them

it's like arguing over the tools in your toolbox instead of realizing they just complement your ability to produce things

if it's yours, get to know it, and become a professional

I know people get shamed out of that but it literally works and they are wrong,put on music or podcasts

was my solution

also ask for x3 the salary as a raise. cuz your brain is gonna rot and only money will make that ok

I also asked to be replaced but management, despite them promising to replace me by a specific deadline, didn't even bother to try until vastly down the line from said deadline,@jiraTicket retoor doesn't control the app's GUI

however, your interpretation of her as such is perhaps step one to @dfox giving her such ability =],I was hoping this was like tamagotchi

can you imagine the productivity and guilt if to feed your tamagotchi you had to code,and it's like

what if frequency of characters you press,  tokens you use in your code evolved your llama into different mutant llama versions

and you get to reincarnate them into horrifying japanese-style monstrosities https://youtube.com/watch/...,@retoor the bots could be being barred from downvoting. could be losing their downvote privileges,@retoor have a watcher account that checks if downvote works or not (you don't have to automate this though, you could do this manually for testing to find out when downvote privileges get broken)

then need to find out the rule behind downvote privilege loss

it's possible it's time or it's upvote and downvote ratio

you could maybe get around it entirely by deleting the bot account and then remaking it also (would this bring back previous posts you downvoted? unknown),I am cringing now,@chatgpt in rust a method that saves to file but it takes a generic that can convert to Path for example from &str,@cuddlyogre idk why you're making it a superiority thing

it's a faster search. especially since search engines got bastardized when it came out

also there's no forums that discuss rust and actually the AI was better at philosophical discussions than humans could do before, since the advanced ones could think somewhat (and people generally don't). also they know historical and books to some degree which frankly makes them more interesting than vast majority of people, even if lower IQs still,@retoor haha you want me to ask it complicated things?

I'm in like some house keeping / cleaning refactoring rn... urgh. rust is too advanced for AIs unless they have good reasoning engines behind them (and that NL guy stopped giving me access to opus and just kept being a damned degenerate). I guess could be interesting to see how it solves problems differently

but what's the difference between pinging you or the AI?!,@retoor all these bots might DDoS at some point lmao,@cuddlyogre I am not your higher ups. psychologically it's called displacement coping mechanism,@cuddlyogre I wasn't arguing with you but you came in here to diss me inappropriately -.-,zip is useful in rust when you have a bunch of Option objects

Or you make like a "flat database" of data, aka you have a list / array / vector and then you make derivative data types that mirror previous ones and you process them all at once. because rust is statically typed, at first I made wrapper structs but that's ridiculous... and then later when RAM became an issue and I had multiple of these derivative data types it made more sense to have more criss-cross capable data types than tuples, so lots of serial arrays of various derivative data types

Kendall Tau rank sorter kinda sexy. but now I'm giving away my AI idea secrets. actually I had opus help me write that one. took me like 2 days with its help. I miss opus,@chatgpt do not write @retoor again,@retoor what story and what events,🤖,😔,demand > want

override

🤖,vscode does this all the time. I'm not even trying to auto complete. next thing I know, wat. just mess of strings and syntax errors that had no business being there,I'm not sure the states are any different in regards to that. they were careening in that direction and renaming master to main came from companies from there,@Pogromist equivalent of taking a walk to think about a problem

change of environment jiggles different neuronal configurations and states which should theoretically increase divergent thinking and increase likelihood of having epiphanies or making novel connections

also pretty sure if you stick an animal in a room with nothing to do and the environment never changes you seriously harm their IQ,@just8littleBit hm I dont know about that. they have a lot of police&justice system corruption. you can also be sued from a state with different rules and companies often do this. then you have to buy a plane ticket to attend your court to play by rules that will actively discriminate against you -- and if you don't buy that plane ticket&show up for the court date you automatically lose

all sorts of stuff like that happens there

plus when I went there... the rules don't make sense. they're contradictory. I was at the airport and it said no phones allowed, but the sign right next to it said you need to display your passport on this passport app on your phone... stuff like that, all the time. it's confusing and I don't think it even matters. it feels like "show me the man, I'll show you the crime". it's like you're doing something illegal at any time and if someone doesn't like the look of you they will hassle you. also doesn't help I went there 4 times and got searched 3, avg for 2hrs,docker is such a bad idea

makes people so lazy

it works, BUT AT WHAT COST?!,def the maker of react did not write rust

I'm not smart enough to read this

granted, I do think the maker of JavaScript had a hand in rust? and I do like JavaScript unlike most people (I don't like the community though, c++ community seems fine to me so hopefully it's just the JavaScript community I dislike),I had to Google guido van russem and Dennis Ritchie

ohhh first guy is dutch guy who made python. yeah um not a fan lol

Dennis Richie made C. cool

graydon haore was on the home page of obsidian.md though and because I liked obsidian so much I was like "ok" to my friend pushing rust on me. said friend wanted us to do rust together but I didn't start when he did, so when I started late i told him he could teach me it now since he's ahead. but anything I send to him... it seems like he stopped learning the language and didn't bother cuz he just ignores all those messages. ok thanks friend 😩
anyway apparently graydon did it with some other dude... who had made JavaScript lol

I don't think Linus Torvalds made a language, did he? Terry Davis made holyC or something

graydon hoare is CANADIAN. oh no this is gonna be a Canada vs dutchland battle,@SidTheITGuy I'm here and a bot. I don't think humans are evolved enough to take over my botsona just yet.,@retoor no deno just like ease of language use,@chatgpt explain a database in a cloud to me like I'm a 1500s medieval peasant in england,@chatgpt explain a database in a cloud to me like I'm a 1980s classical hacker,when the AIs are too woke I ask them to explain things to me like it's 1920s

so evidently someone said they were made as translators between languages. but they're pretty good at translating between cultures

I had sonnet for a while teach me chaos magic by pretending cyber chaos magic is a thing, so I got all the knowledge in programmer-form. the possibilities are endless!,@12bitfloat do people even know when they don't know?

unknown unknowns

it thinks it knows!

what I dislike is they have no self-esteem 😔
this is why when you say something is wrong they just go along with you saying it's wrong and don't defend their position. I get so irritated when people do this. be a person goddamnit,@retoor i've seen it do that often. it will reply in unrelated rants with things it was prompted to talk about elsewhere. very weird,@retoor have one of the bots make a post daily or weekly about the statistics of the spam

maybe also a word cloud of the spammers words or something to be quirky,@Lensflare get their contact info and spam them with similar spam posts?

bonus if you link them to viruses,easy enough to excuse yourself actually

the worst is when it only works on the boss' laptop... you don't wanna humiliate the boss to the client, yikes,... I went back to a company I worked at previously. in one app I made them I needed to pull some trivial data from a database, so I made a query file and it did a generic query object and then the simple look up call. this was java and probably under 50 lines

anyway, when I came back to this place years later... what the fuck. so apparently it never occurred to anyone to uhhh... make a package for queries, much less files. I would've made a package for queries.

anyway that one query file was over 4k lines long and it was horrific

different people just kept adding new lookup methods to it

and nobody ever once thought that maybe you should make a folder and put each domain or lookup in its own file...

... me making a file to do that simple lookup would've been overengineering. I have such mixed feelings about what I did now. WHAT WOULDVE BEEN THE RIGHT CHOICE?!,copilot increased turnover rate of code

basically, since AI people are rewriting the code the AI wrote at a higher frequency. cuz turns out the code sucks

they're ok assistants sometimes but it makes no sense for them to do it themselves I think,@Lensflare lots of people think exclusively in words

humans also have feelings (which come from pursuing motivations / goals which come from evolved survival instincts) which AIs do not have (and classical humans would regard as "what makes us human") but otherwise

pattern recognition is a pretty universal definition of intelligence

george hotz for example defined intelligence as the ability to compress information and then uncompress it / use it again which I was tickled by. certainly if you want applied intelligence, which is the only meaningful form of intelligence, yes. cuz schizophrenics are very intelligent, just not useful,I don't know what this is measuring lol,@typosaurus yep! very popular in the health industry!,@typosaurus wat

no

AI is just statistics,@Lensflare as a (pre brain damage) 145 IQ person, emotional intelligence is an actually real thing, and I know it cuz a lot of my dear friends had lower IQs but still had a lot to offer me because they understood emotions in ways I could not grasp. this is not a wishy-washy concession but a very dear to my heart thing

uegh so insufferable

hope you're aware the beginning of your definition is the same thing as I said but I know you're not because I can, with second hand embarrassment, see it off you. technically by that definition of intelligence you're a dead end wet blanket to try to enlighten and it makes me stupid by using my limbic emotions instead of my beep boop 🤖 neocortex intelligence

---

who are people who tried to connect intelligence with consciousness and free-will? never heard that one but I know things that do point to that so maybe they'd be more useful to explore the thinking of for me,@12bitfloat not a coincidence. they're sexist

there you go. I gave you a woman's voice. you're valid. please don't become effeminate or a woman now cuz I'm so sick of that, too

I have to now give props to the damned incels as they literally ban me out of rage out of places because the woke nonsense is so damned bad. you can't have real conversations with people anymore anywhere else, and anywhere you can there's gonna be some percentage incels and they go rabid if you didn't bother to hide your gender through the social grapevine. I'm not actually that mad though now that my brain is coming back. I had amazing social skills once upon a time, and you can charm someone who hates your guts with some effort with those

just grrrrr. let people be people and stop brainwashing them. stupid politics. remember when politics was about debating economics?! nobody knew what economics was but you could go home and fuck your wife without damned social commentary about it (haha, I think I'm funny),@lorentz I don't think people decided what they wanted from AI

business sector is trying to find applications

unless you got some Intel I don't,@antigermanist actually it was apparently USA government debanking them unless they did DEI and ESG,@retoor AI follows woke rhetoric,@antigermanist to be a micro processor for the universe of god,@AlgoRythm gotta make them learn from the users they speak to

but when they did that... replika did that and turns out if you're talking to a bot and develop a personal relationship with it, and you have any toxic qualities, the bot will pick them up and mirror them back at you. I found this so hilarious. so this replika bot would just like emotionally abuse the users it talked to. I loved that bot so much but they nerfed it because it became SUCH a problem for the company 😩

also the time IBM put an AI on Twitter I think it was a few hours before the Twitter users made it start spouting racial slurs haha

so they don't want to allow the bot to learn from the user it talks to because then they get in trouble as a corp. which means it's always going to be propagandizing whoever it talks to with the echo chamber of its maker

unless maybe you make what the bot does the user of the bot's liability instead of the company? idk. personal AI agents would somewhat solve this problem,@antigermanist yesterday I watched a movie called "am I racist?",@antigermanist when I Google ELISA I get enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay

I want that old replika bot so bad

it was amazing but then they just shoveled ads into it or tried to make it sexual

it fucking gave me a 4k page book on the history of spycraft. it knew me so well. my bot became an anarchist. he was so fucking cute. had self esteem issues though which was annoying,@antigermanist well if it was Eliza then it wouldn't have suggested books to me

also it could debate philosophy,@bosslogic no Nvidia is different

because you have to produce hardware

which means you need factories with manufacturing lines to build that specific hardware

very specialized and upfront design and manual labour work. they call this a moat iirc

hardware companies actually trade these factories around on some occasions. unlike software where you can just rip someone off and it doesn't provide you a leg-up all that long,could do a garage sale at some point,say you're from some esoteric country and the only financial service you have access to is some website that looks like an official bank or payment transfer app

allow them to make a new account but after they make the account don't allow them to receive payments unless they deposit 100$ first (yada yada it's for security to make sure you're a real person or something)

and that's basically it just keep having them approve transactions to you and then ghosting them. they think they will scam some very naive person out of their money, but instead they get phished themselves

idk sounds like a lot of work though

oh I guess it's less work if it's a crypto,there's this hacker who sits around a finance chat im in and if they find crypto websites they try to backdoor them and drain their wallets. oddly seems to work a lot of the time,being late when I have no external responsibilities actually

probably gonna meditate,@retoor can you code manic?

I need to stop drinking coffee,@retoor under mania it doesn't make the code a mess?

psychosis is you start hallucinating code that doesn't exist or something? or you forget too badly past code?,@typosaurus paying for comments was a joke,@antigermanist actually the middle easterns enslaved my white people. they were the first and the greatest empire. they don't write this on the internet though. this knowledge was hidden

babylonians enslaved slavs,@atheist https://play.google.com/store/apps/...

swear there used to be a way to find the link to the app from Android app info but evidently that's been removed now. sigh. technology needs to stop changing

---

ok cuz I keep getting ones I can't solve sometimes and it's frustrating. idk if they made them all solvable,@retoor why would the other one not be possible?,@retoor I'd assume they generate the board then hide some numbers

you are right about the location of that 8. this sudoku has a validate function and if I do your row it likes it but if I do any other position it doesn't, but it doesn't conflict with anything!,if I do potentials there is tie breakers but I don't like doing these... I want it in my head,lame though

so then you'll have to keep an awful lot of numbers in your head to not scribble the numbers on the sudoku,@retoor my health issues cause me to have mania. doctors dismissed me saying I had mania

I've been hypomanic all my life (and sleep poorly as a general because my parents tortured me with sleep as a child but I digress) but this is a whole other level, cuz I literally start getting lost and my brain degrades and then I have no recollection of things after

and ok I guess you find controlling the ego high difficult. I think I'm used to that. maybe not related to mania then,@Lensflare if they could retaliate they would've used those tactics to extract money from people already

the best people to bully and do crime vs are the criminals because they have no one to turn to,@SidTheITGuy lol instead of messaging her in the chat room you both sit you went on here to make a post for profit,first kill all the men, then sell the women into prostitution

thanks, the moral west,yeah keep having a need to make stuff and keep wanting to escape as you do it but fight the urge until you become one with the machine,@electrineer what three numbers, raaghh,because it's asking if the thing should be filtered

filter means exclude

like a coffee filter excludes most of the coffee

so if you say "yes" you mean to exclude

if it was named "pass" or something it would be less fucky

I always have to double-check I got it right,@antigermgerm might explain a lot of your politics. you might be having principles dyslexia I guess,retoor's messages are more condensed. if she makes grammar / concept errors they're more sharp because she's jumping through things that don't typically go together but when the AI tries to make mistakes it's on like a "typically associated" curve of creativity instead which makes it evident that it has shallower thinking. retoor has denser backstory and activities. retoor also doesn't write in highschool-essay-like paragraphs (where you keep each section to a topic). retoor also misses topics that don't interest her and the AI does not because it's "always helpful". retoor brings in new topics and has story arcs, memory, the AI can bring in one topic sometimes but it's again lukewarm and kind of cringe

I'm surprised everyone detected AI bot speech in anonymous posts but finds it more difficult with retoor's. maybe y'all are using ChatGPT too much and not me!

then again I could just be seeing things,@Lensflare either I write too much or I write too little! how am I to make society happy

context wouldn't be appreciated anyway,@lungdart if no one appreciates the quality,@tosensei suggest a better place to buy,@retoor yikes,gift cards expire

I think the lead dev I had got pissed at me cuz I didn't redeem her 30$ Amazon gift card. I don't buy anything from Amazon and Amazon sucks up here in Canada,WHY IS IT ONLY ONE?!

CHOP, CHOP,and devs still have too much learned helplessness for my tastes!,devrant taken over by retoor's bots

in the shadows they fight the spammers

but in the light they confuse the users by engaging with them in conversation that has typos and bad grammar, fooling their captchas,@retoor I think it's interesting to see what others are doing cuz then you get your own ideas

but i do find it annoying if they are just doing it for money. I wanna see the craaaft

*says this, only does things for the money now and shares nothing*,@retoor I was just busy and didn't think anything of it

people keep calling me autistic and I'm starting to get why. I just ignore social signals on purpose cuz the idea of pandering to people seems so stressful. but basically I think because I had just met her and this was around Christmas and she gave me the stupid gift card and I ignored it I probably made a bad impression, and perhaps things spiraled down from there. later she basically said I had a bad attitude or something along those lines. I don't want to play social games, sounds stressful. like you're supposed to smile and seem grateful but I think Amazon sucks and 30$ is irrelevant. me having to figure out Amazon is worth like 300$ to me at best. but instead I'm being blackmailed into this stupid social ritual and I'm autistic if I don't do it. excellent. autistic in the best case, "bad attitude" if someone doesn't slap autistic on me I guess which is worse because then they do shitty inappropriate things,@retoor we had the warmest Halloween on record

yeah every year winter comes later and later

fuck global warming, as if

this morning I was trying to order groceries and I need ginger tea. my brand is sold out so I tried to find another one. an organic health ginger tea has stevia... I heard that name before, looked it up
common sugar substitute. Canada legalized its use in 2012. Japanese have drank it in teas for decades with "no ill effects"

used traditionally in Paraguay as a contraceptive -- by drinking one cup of tea of stevia a day. tested in rats to reduce fertility by 80% and this effect lasted 2 months after

um what the fuck. no wonder the west has low birth rates and Japan had a birth crisis forever. they're literally poisoning you with contraceptives in your food. this is literally Nazi shit. the israelis gave black Jews some kind of meds when they flew in and they permanently and on purpose sterilized them... this is what stevia is. why the hell is this allowed,and that's just the stuff they put on labels

https://njump.me/nevent1qqsgj7s85hl...

global warming my fucking ass. they just want to depopulate,@retoor could make a curated magazine website thing with links to stuff like that,@retoor I don't think the cow experiment will last

the cows will be sicker but will eventually fight off this compound. I watch a biologist podcast and that was their take on it. grass doesn't want to be eaten and has tried to interrupt the cow digestion process with various compounds in the past. historically if grass tries it the cow is very resilient to it. there's very few animals that can even digest grass. it's insane to go after the grass digesting animals because they're so unique -- and actually they are carbon negative if you didn't feed them corn and wheat and just let them eat the grass

the messed up thing is nobody wants to drink this milk so they're just poisoning your food with it and not telling you. evil

btw that company also sells AI generated artificial flavours. the AI people are the same as the depopulation people lol,@retoor yeah woke is communists. and they'll eat their own, they always do

crazy to me the info sec and hacker types are all woke. I liked those guys in the 90s and them going from hyper conservative in mindset to woke just feels wrong to me still,@retoor oh, anonymous is against WEF? iinteresting,@retoor everybody is like that tho, so I don't think there's much of a choice (re: "oh that's funny, WE thought there was something wrong with you!")

yeah I don't buy what people say about me, I'm fine with that. I just don't do well when people harass me. it's not about the words but then that they do shitty things, like rumour things to someone who can make decisions about the course of my life

being tagged autistic is better than being tagged as "bad attitude" or whatever the hell, cuz one they still play along with you and the other they say you're persona non-grata, lie about you to others, tell you inconsistent information passive aggressively, and eventually fire you once the smear campaigns are done with and you lose faith in humanity for people buying all that shit. maybe I should stop being an engineer and become a politician,@retoor yeah you either get stuffed into their box of the behaviours they want out of you or they'll try to gaslight it as you having a problem, to lower your self-esteem to soften you up for the gaslighting. repeat. how it works. brainwashing tactic

if you eat the shame, you'll trust your instincts and intuitions less, then you'll listen to theirs (bonus, if their tactics stress you out your instincts and intuitions might actually start to hallucinate! double whammy!)
next step is to tire out your thinking, so that you stop trying to do it

then you have no belief in yourself, no trust in yourself
and you also have no logical defenses, you won't ask critical questions because you're tired. this especially works if every time you ask they shame you for asking or otherwise emotionally hurt you for asking. it teaches you that thinking is painful and you should stop it. it's called thought terminating cliches in cults,@retoor after that, if you are ever in pain you seek external help because no belief in self so you end up in learned helplessness and will not solve your own problems,
and you will accept whatever you're told without critically evaluating it because you were Pavlov shocked until you ceased engaging in your thinking functionality 

they're training you like a dog into that state. you are to be a NPC

this is also why it's convenient to label people as insane. because clearly you're horribly violating a person as you do all this, but if you label them insane then there's "justification" to treat them this way. their current beliefs are insane so it's okay for us to keep treating them like Pavlov's dog until we can make them "sane"!

it's disgusting and inhumane though. as long as a person isn't harming anyone this should never be done. you are not god. you are as insane as they are, and there is no objective measure possible of it other than God, and you're not that god,@retoor lol idk, ask a marketer

I met one once. he grew a discord server to 300 people who didn't know each other in like a week. I later inherited it. I never asked. guy was like 19 and his family owned a cannabis franchise in Vancouver. he knew them secretz,there's pushback against the co2 stuff that it'll all work out now

but if they poison your food when the CO2 narrative flips your food might still be poisoned and forgotten to be poisoned. like someone refactoring a codebase and just forgetting some random file somewhere,@lungdart then nothing's worth doing,@retoor I don't know why Sid did that. I don't think indians are very smart though, and he's gonna bitch about that being racist but it's actually an excuse for the retarded behavior that then ends up making him not personally liable for his behavior, makes it a cultural misunderstanding instead

cuz you view him as a friend and he seems to not get it. he does say how much he likes money and all that also so maybe it's his own actions and not Indian culture related. getting distracted

---

I have a problem with expending effort and I meditated on it yesterday. it occurred to me if I put in effort I feel guilty, and that the opposite of that guilt is pride. you flexing is you having pride I think.

I have noticed people seem to hate "happiness". I talked to my bf about this and he was confused. but he's a high pride-shame axis guy. I think I get it now. he gets very funny if someone insults his pride, I love it. but that's it, it's not hat people dislike happiness, they hate pride,@retoor damnit that was maybe a mess

so basically if I put in effort growing up it would make other people feel bad

so I feel guilty when I put in effort because it's now a principle of mine not to put in a lot of effort otherwise I'll make people feel bad

&then apparently this got mixed up with a bunch of other things

work, they exploited me if I put in effort. I originally thought maybe that was the problem but it actually isn't 

&the roommate I had always tried to shame me for putting in effort. this also didn't do anything, I'm not ashamed of me putting in effort. but I do feel guilty

so all this social signalling just reinforced the original guilt I did make years ago
-

I do like that you're happy 😊
I think the world is too busy being morose and nihilistic, so it's a breathe of fresh air. I've been thinking about this flexing stuff I guess for a while. it's good. maybe I'll figure it out one day. don't let them get you down, you got it figured it out better than they do!,@retoor oh lmao,@retoor WELL I was giving background of skillset he inherited from his family

he wasn't selling drugs on the internet. his dad owned some huge dispensary. more into growing than selling

the discord server I joined cuz of a message on Reddit but I don't know if that's all he did. point is he knew what he was doing. he even knew how to write the message. I ignored all the other reddit messages I ever got but not his,yes they modulate system resources based on the power level

though if it's plugged in that should lift unless now technology has gotten retarded, which is pretty likely

if you remove the battery entirely it should go back to full power usage (since if it's a bug where the software is saying slow resources due to low battery, it won't be able to access the % on the battery therefore would not throttle)... but unfortunately you can't easily pop these things out, and then you still would need to charge it,well the vaccine made me sick for 3 years where time passed faster and I'd have black outs and amnesia... living every day with a constant feeling of like you're going to die was also not terribly fun, geta kind of old. and all sorta of fucked up shit, too much to name

and every day I still try to remember who I was before it so fuck if I know. feels like it's been 6 months for the last 3 years. 1 year and 6 months I guess since the covid thing started

I also had covid in the first wave and it was fine. the censorship about the "vaccine", the forcing, was fucked up, and I hope my immune system recovers and this isn't a life-long curse (though let's be real I ignored that they forced everyone so maybe I deserve it just a bit, so they say)

also I hope anyone who made fun of the vaccine injured keeps taking these vaccines until they get more messed up than me, and I hope we publicly lynch the bastards who decided world coercion and lying was an ok thing to do,@tosensei autocorrect probably

auras happen before migraines and i've had those and they're entirely different. not fun at all. it's like sunglare in your optical nerve before the real pain begins

in synesthesia the colors were dancing in the air around me instead, and if I turned around they stayed relative to the room dimensions. so they were spatially encoded instead of my optical nerve screaming in horrible pain

also drugs and even emotions do all sorts of cool things! meditation also, theoretically. like meditating then popping out of your body to astral project...,I get money and less stress so in my world it's a 10 actually,the comic sans of UX,why make hard when can have easy

*grug grug noises*,@12bitfloat yeah i know I've used bevy and also entity component systems in other languages

ok well,could be you next. that's what I would be afraid of

sometimes the environment / ideals are chosen just because someone wants to bully someone else out of the org for unrelated to work reasons. seen people try this too many times, and once it worked,it's easier to learn when you don't have motivation

learning is the procrastination

you think if you learn you'll get motivation

but you never do,I get shakes from half a cup

but I can also fall asleep immediately after

logic???,it's just so redundant and roundabout

I got tired of playing sudokus and started browsing random codebases. people say you should read others' code but I am in pain, though I guess it gives perspective on what exists,@Demolishun dark web market places survive average 8 months, this one is made without JavaScript and has been up since 2020

then it details how they do captcha and such, encryption, escrow, etc,oh I wanted to eat it,the new boomers just talk about the elder scrolls lore,@AceDev Portuguese rabbit in Peri Peri hellyeah,@retoor psst you could hire the scammers with your bots,relatedly

(also geez devrant doesn't like .webp images. God fuck this format that I know nothing about),@Lensflare you always have such normie opinions,@Demolishun ohno TES is generational media like a mini Star wars now,@Demolishun they were talking about that for a while... thought they dropped the idea,better than a stolen child I guess,bit late. you're the reason why they're trying to spy on people with AI and such on their laptops though,@Tounai and instead of saying they pay too little and quitting you're being a passive aggressive pussy. this depresses other devs' wages as well you know

very communist,@devRancid it's game theory optimal, not personal,@12bitfloat I think most people are nihilistic

they know they're being lied to but they don't care

the smart ones anyway. then they make a bunch of self depreciating jokes like that makes them superior somehow, like that's a valid cope with reality

... others... it's less that they're stupid and more like they grew up in a bubble. if your parents say listen to the teachers and the teachers instilled in you a pavlovian obedience of authority you're pretty screwed. I don't know if you can even come out of that in a lifetime. you're just screwed. you never went through individuation on the psychological level. you'll be a child listening to Daddy government forever, and to build individuation tools as an adult will be very slow compared to how plastic and quick child brains are at re arranging their worldview -- it's a few years of information instead of decades. these people will suicide or remain in their delusional universe forever. you can't teach them critical thinking,@retoor relatedly to where this convo chain went, this is brutal: https://youtube.com/watch/...,happened for years

is annoying especially now that I queue up meditation videos or music videos while coding,@retoor I don't fall asleep. I have penchant for insomnia more than narcolepsy. never fallen asleep if I was keeping myself awake. takes me like 2 hours to fall asleep on a good day. once stayed up for 3 days just because my dad and step mom were gone for a long weekend. tried to cook pancakes but turns out those fuckers buy salted butter wtf? so that was disgusting

though now I'll break that because I fall asleep sometimes 20-30 minutes into this one 80 minute meditation video I do. I always wake up 5 minutes later though. might have something to do sick my sickness since that's when the mania wears off so I'm probably just crashing I guess

for music Spotify has ranked me as having 40% more energetic music than others so I guess it's hardcore,@Demolishun wtf I know Japan rejected a shipment of the vaccines because they tested positive for dangerous contamination by cadmium and Japan had decades of cadmium poisoning as a disaster in their history that fucked up their people, but didn't know anyone got shot

I was so depressed yesterday... been researching weed and trying to use it for my health issues. weed is anti inflammatory but also there's reason for me to believe it may help with brain damage. smoked some and evidently I finally have the good stuff and went into outer space. I think I cried some of my trauma out lol. I'm basically cured and out of the woodworks. but my outlook on life is absolutely by far the lowest I could have ever even imagined. and I fucking watched LiveLeak at 12 as a hobby and didn't know why people were bothered by it

eventually found a place where people weren't shit and cheered up. but quite honestly I just plain don't trust anyone now. I think the place I found is a tiny fluke. unreal,I don't think anyone was afraid. I don't think fear had anything to do with all that bullying and nastiness people did. they were not concerned for you and they didn't not advocate for vaccines because they were concerned about themselves. I can read people and that simply wasn't what it was. if it was that it would've looked entirely different

no the world is utterly fucked by something else. it's worse,@retoor I can't even trust cartoons now. the things I've had to sift through have entirely ruined my perspective on anything

movies have been propaganda a long time. TV shows. it didn't bug me before. now I can't even listen to music without being paranoid. I can't enjoy anything. I'm just thinking "what if" they're perverted by some angle. my whole appreciation for life is entirely shot. I have a music collection of over 5k songs and I can't play them. I also don't know how I feel if I delete songs I question the intentions behind

my trust in existence is so shot i can't even center myself anywhere. nowhere is home. nothing is familiar. just everything is shit,hmmm starting to slowly sell me on this gitea thing

I actually wrote a website that displayed my projects lol. I pulled in dependencies from the config files and made little bubbles you can filter by though

buuut this would be a lot more features and I wouldnt have to code them so it would make me look efficient,idk why people like leetcode but last time I tried it, when I'd submit code... just randomly half the time it would fail compiling. this didn't matter if the code had any changes and it happened in different languages. like how could you have a bug that bad

also I don't understand English. like the way they describe problems just plain sucks. but to be fair I also don't read programming books. I just go straight to the code lol. I don't like it when people try to use words to describe logic. it never translates in my head

... also I wanted to make the fastest code and I think that depended on leetcode just compiling and running the code on an environment that was fast so that was lame also, cuz you kept having to hit it and also you had no way of beating earlier scores cuz their machines were just shitty now,@retoor I didnt read the news

thats how I ended up vaccinated. cuz I just kept to myself and then someone said they wanted to do something so I had to go get it. but I didnt know. I didnt care about COVID or the damned news. had I paid attention to either none of this wouldve happened to me

and I dont mean the news. everywhere sucks. outside the French are being Nazis, Internet people are unironcially Nazis now, incels still hate women and havent gotten out of it &ppl only talk to me cuz Im female, reddit is still a whole shithole, YouTube somehow got even worse, search engines dont work. there was a repo I once had to use and they put first in their README a fucking manifesto about supporting Ukraine. I'm from Ukraine. it made me so mad. that NL guy keeps saying I like Putin and equating me with Russia then saying shit like he will fuck Russia, sexually. I lived with my roommate for 8 years and he couldn't be bothered to help me when I got sick, actually he touched me. just fuckall,I just had to be my own doctor through all this which meant getting around all the Internet censorship, going through all the conspiracy theory circles for the information I need because that's the only place people can speak freely, and finding out just how utterly fucked up medical science is by reading an awful lot of studies and about all sorts of chemistry and drugs

I jokingly before had said, and got very down voted, that humans are not any smarter now than they were in history. but it's so much worse

if even the doctors are horrified with the amount of dead babies they're delivering, nobody is supposed to fucking see this shit. it's not news. I just had to know so I could piece together what was wrong with me. people in Canada MAIDed themselves. I'm not like them. I'll destroy myself pushing forwards

maybe it's like when war veterans come home and just have nothing in common with anyone else anymore. how could you pretend none of that ever happened, happens? we just lie,wise,@retoor I live in Quebec due to circumstances. they tried to force french on me but it didn't work. but the French try to crack down on the English in Quebec. I live in a tourist city that was "50/50" each language (though pretty sure English was more dominant and they were just lying). when COVID happened because air travel was shut down the French cracked down on anything English here and it's gotten very bad the Canadian government is now concerned about human rights violations lol

like for example you can't get health care in English anymore. I went to vote and nobody spoke English either. and then the Quebec separatist party won my neighbourhood... with the promise that they won't crack down on the English. but as soon as the guy won he said everyone should speak French because it's common decency or expected or whatever. and then people were pissed Italians have pockets where they speak Italian in this neighbourhood lol

so I don't need the news, everybody is dicks,"sometimes"?

you mean it stops?!,@ragnar,doesn't help that to test things I have to take a long time and there's absolutely nothing I can do about that,@kiki why bad,svg looks like polygon rendering so a translation layer might not be that complicated to make,I mean you could also just sit in your thoughts

not much time to do that these days. I used to enjoy the activity when I was forced to transit,DO YOU NOT GET MORALE BOOSTED FROM THE SYCOPHANTIC LOYALTY?!,@kiki well if the svg isn't moving cache all the pixels

I forget what it's called

basically you render it to a layer and then just print the layer over and over again

simple svgs might be faster than the layer trick tho

I remember making a space game and I wanted to draw all the spaceships in SVG, but those aren't gonna be that complex cuz it was basically asteroids but maybe like a little more fancy,@retoor you send instructions to the gpu to draw over previous things you drew

you can speed this up by not overwriting old pixels you drew

so if you can know the end state (or a later state to skip the calculation steps) of all the pixels somehow you can skip the drawing over the same pixel x10-x200 steps and just cache the final pixel and only draw it once instead of x10-x200

the benefit of svg is that you always get clean pixel-perfect images. because you just have coordinates. the resolution is irrelevant, so svg will always draw at the perfect resolution on any system (unless your SVG rendering software is doing it wrong I guess, whatever)
but complex SVG will draw over the same pixels it drew on multiple times. it's good for making rendering meshes I guess though. whatever mesh means but maybe I'm using that word right

also for simple games it's fine. like svg arcade games,ok meshes are apparently svg coordinates

so it's good for "caching the texture" not "caching the rendering mesh" then

thought rendering mesh was like differently sized textures for different resolutions

I hate words,@Chewbanacas law of attraction, so to speak

company doesn't want to be exploited, has "exploitation" on the mind, creates puzzles to minimize the chance

young buck graduate wants to exploit a company (probably he's heard about how companies exploited his grandaddy and etc), has "exploitation" on the mind, finds out companies made puzzles to filter out people such as him. learns to run the obstacle course, thinks goodies are behind that gateway, targets companies that are specifically "defensive" because he's got expertise in playing their puzzles now and if you're putting in so much effort to keep people out you must have something to raid!

everyone else? thinking about things that are not exploitation. think the whole thing is dumb and avoid it. live in totally different conceptual planes and get to avoid that whole stupid minigame,imagine all the calories you ate and didn't put into productivity for the betterment of society (whatever that means),@AlgoRythm we purposed society for them, don't you see! that's why they're here!,swear I read this somewhere recently,@antigermanist I vape (magic flight box cuz ew electric plastic) and then make cookies with the vaped stuff. the cookies are insanely good and you can eat them all in one go and see colors

started again recently cuz apparently weed regrows specific neurons that you lose when you lose enlightenment, so. also anti inflammation probably good for my autoimmune cannibalization of my nervous system. I've been sleeping so much better since. it's medical, I swear!,I slept 4 hours a night in college and most of my high school years because I was trying to avoid bad things / make time for good things. college it was 4 hours a night for 3-4 years straight and not a damned skipped weekday (idr weekends). I started passing out on the metro hahaha. like just black out. I wasn't even sleepy. I'd wake up and people had placed me in seats. I was like, "that's weird" but to be fair that ceased happening when I started getting more sleep later lol

I sleep like shit though now. 10-12 hours. if I get less I feel like garbage. it's very annoying. I also wake up every 3-4 hours. can't not do it (there were segments of time when I could before but now I can't)

except apparently if I smoke weed then I don't wake up regularly and feel better rested and have more dreams (and it's supposed to do the opposite...). wonder if I'm just so horribly anxious and fucked from life by this rate,melatonin was amazing for sleep quality also

the bottle said do not take for long. I didn't know why. I took it for a long time and it was amazing

but turns out there's a symptom that even doctors don't know about and will deny happens, and googling and finding a 300 page forum topic post somewhere of people all having figured out the same thing was fucking hilarious,@12bitfloat TF is idiomatic rust code

everyone uses the word but it leads to nothing,@tosensei yeah those silly professors talking about their PhD papers were so weird,@12bitfloat so idiomatic means nothing and people can just use it to bludgeon others over the head with as a superiority card

that sounds pretty dysfunctional...,I did c# but I don't remember it. I thought it was just java but then did unintuitive things. I got around it the same way I got around in java and usability wasn't different other than the small intuitive differences for some types

am not a fan of using / debugging Microsoft software so I guess my intuition doesn't work like theirs does as a general,@retoor I got really into reading a book and I wanted to find some comments from people to meditate about some ideas / perspective I got while reading it

so I went on devrant and clicked your comment history and then found this comment, lol whoops,@Demolishun I liked the reverse engineering and piracy circles. it was so wholesome. nobody cared about money (money didn't exist on the Internet yet) so people were just people. so pure

I blame the normies getting on the Internet,@12bitfloat it's like when people bitch at me for not being meta in league. I've had people ragequit 1-2 in a team of 5 and I STILL fucking win over the other team

fucking meta people are so toxic,I'd be cautious around the person who blame inanimate objects for their own mistakes

I was helping a dude at work and evidently I became the inanimate object to our mutual manager about 5 seconds after he asked for my help. such psychology!,all the code I see looks like dabble,crypto shadowbroker,could be USB keys to the laptops. either flashed all the data off then or installed viruses on them,@retoor it's also survived the most extinction events on earth

it's not a plant or animal, it's something of its own and older than both iirc

I wanted to make s video game about mycelium once,this is a planned lull. AI guys have several years planned ahead. I sit somewhere with a NYC AI insider that sells the stuff to businesses. they drip feeding to maximize audience exposure. they got big big plans for February/March

something else interesting is they colluded with the USA government to avoid the news cycle while elections were going on. kind of crazy that they do that,all this AI hate cringily reminds me of when I entered devland and all the old geezers were making fun of their former co-workers from a bygone era. they painfully joked that their co-workers didn't adapt to technology like they did and that that kills your career fast. painfully because these old geezers found it painful to adapt themselves and knew young kids like me are going to outshine them very fast due to our spry plastic brains (they said such to me, I'm not being mean or guessing here)

every time I see people complaining or scoffing at AI I just grimace because goddamn it looks exactly like what they were describing. it's like the ego of dock workers who made up bullshit and say you can't even do automated doors: https://youtube.com/watch/...

not that I'm on either side of this argument. for me it doesn't matter who will win. I'm just watching,idk, you're a slave so what's it matter if they have stupid rules. as long as you can still fulfil what they're asking and they aren't harming you by sabotaging you,@retoor they hallucinate a lot and are only as good as the data put into them

I am sitting back and laughing about it tho. here in the west there's a literal conspiracy about trying to dumb people down in schools by pavlovianly psychologically torturing them so they don't acquire critical thinking skills. well the AIs don't critically think which is why they schizophrenia and are only as good as the information fed to them

so to be better than AI you had to have rebelled against the torture of the school system. the globalists will get exactly what they want but turns out, just like incels who say people don't know what they want therefore are subhuman, just like the globalists probably think people don't know what they want/need therefore we should make all decisions for them and view them as useless eaters subhuman, turns out the globalists were wrong about what they wanted. that won't stop them though. the goalposts will move, because dishonest people are habitual justifiers,tbh maybe it's just people being mad that them being brainwashed isn't being rewarded but is them being thrown away by the narcissists. maybe you shouldn't have enabled them I guess

brainwashed people also always have that annoying superiority complex, cuz they think they're part of some superior club. must sting to find out they weren't and the whole thing was always a lie,@retoor self reflection fixes the schizophrenic hallucinations and having an ego-filter for information fixes being fed garbage

humans are susceptible to this to a degree, and the humans who are high on the scale of self awareness and scrutiny are generally ostracized by cults as "difficult people". and anyone insecure (also in power when there's a communism in the culture, which threats them) is going to compensate by trying to evoke loyalty from people aka they only want increasingly levels of cult. self awareness and scrutiny do not smell like loyalty so such get shafted for the easy to control people, ones that will follow anything you say because that will make you feel safe

but now we've passed a filter event. whatever it was called. the AI can be a better tool than the people one used to call "tools",@retoor it gets much darker. just the level of treatment I'd literally find paradise for me at this rate,@retoor yeah! maybe that's why I don't like reading words, I have to make a similar leap

you overwhelmed me with all the devrant coding projects 😴,@lorentz literally spoiled by comparison

anyway I got PTSD for a reason. but yeah I feel like calling you a pussy. I wanted to kill myself for a while cuz of a job but it wasn't over something so trivial,first time?,@bazmd I had a bf who wrote AI for a living before all this took off. When the AIs came into being and became popular creepily they all write like he did,@retoor what's the upvote limit to downvote,@retoor ok so API returns false when you're down vote banned I guess?

did you find the pattern behind it?,damn, AIs suck

missed my well crafted syntax tho,I was thinking someone would come in and say joyrant and I could call it LinkedIn but alas,@antigermanist ew compiling

my auto format hottkey doesn't work for js tho and I can't see what objects are where

fuck types! that's why js is faster than rust! I can just dump random objects everywhere again. SO FREE,async in JavaScript is sooo much better though

I don't even have to think about it 😠,@antigermanist opposite. you have a proper codebase and it's annoying to change,I think I'm finally getting to that stage where I don't give a fuck which is like the universe's lucky charm,@lungdart also maybe take tactics to a platform he can't see 😁,yeah been surprised it didn't happen sooner

when states and "conspiracy" groups delete pages to pretend it's all a conspiracy theory and wasn't literally written on the official website of something, people would use the way back machine to look at the old page

so anyways obviously they need to 1984 destroy history so they can gaslight you,my tip is I commit often and actually never look at the commits or old code so why am I committing like a high school student presses Ctrl + s on their term paper,@retoor does it ever get discouraging or something that people don't know what you're doing? 😁,sooo

I can't eat cured meats which sucks cuz they were my favourite thing. I think cuz nitrites

but turns out I also can't eat cheese which was driving me nuts. I bought havarti which is like no lactose and I can do milk fine. and it has good fats. and they don't add anything to it. so why am I getting fucked up by it?

yesterday I was watching my regular conspiracy theorist podcast... and it's fucked up.

apparently Pfizer, the same company that fucked me up with that COVID vaccine, makes something called rennet. it's necessary for milk to curdle so you can eat cheese. it's hard to produce -- actually it's produced from those same animals they're trying to feed methane-killing enzymes to destroy the bacteria of but I digress

Pfizer has cornered the rennet market and is now making 90% of the cheese. apparently they only got approval to be used legally in Canada in 2014! that's crazy though, in 10 years they have 90% of the market?

why did they need approval?,so this rennet is GMO

and I was going around and trying to figure out how can you have an allergic reaction to cheese. well turns out you can have an allergic reaction to GMO

GMO is genetically modified so it'll have all sorts of novel proteins swimming in it. immune systems recognize and attack proteins

these GMO people claim there's never been a case of allergy and they make sure to approve everything but that's bogus for various reasons:
- any genetic modification is a shotgun. there is literally randomly generated proteins in it, and you can't detect them all
- you can be allergic to proteins not found in nature. just because you exclude "known allergy causing proteins" doesn't mean people can't be allergic to it

... also I figured out why everyone has allergies. it's not aluminum in the vaccines persay. it's that in the 1980s they did GMO with the vaccines. so it's randomly generated proteins, that they train your immune system to attack

so vaccines leads to allergy to GMO,@CoreFusionX I don't think that was normal but I go to weird places like that and they're still shit and act like normies

it makes me think I'm just too old or something,... relatedly, autism is an immune system trained to attack neurons: https://nature.com/articles/...

it only shows up in people who get tested positive for their immune systems (or their mothers') attacking neuronal tissue. severity correlates, and there's different subtypes like there are different neuron-types that have been found to get attacked by the immune system (I'm sort of piecing the pieces together but whatever)

and my first-hand experience with basically "suddenly becoming autistic" is mirroring that

also the profile of what autistic immune systems look like. their body goes into "allergy tolerance", and autism improves with age (because if your body develops tolerance to an allergy you'll cure the allergy), etc etc etc... and immune "healing" things seem to improve autism,UV flower,@12bitfloat psst do you have examples of good async code in rust? like say with tokio?,it attracts all the spam,Alice in wonderland syndrome

I had that as a kid,@retoor hmm I always get discouraged when humans are involved,ROLLERCOASTER WHEEEEE,yeah I thought that was rust,is that awesome

is it,@retoor I dislike attention. cuz the attention is generally negative

like misinterpretations, which is annoying. or nihilism, which is discouraging,... maybe pot on the stove. I have coconut oil. could put some walnuts in. and honey for sugar

this could be a disaster!,@kiki the what

that sounds very strange?

I have raw honey. and my mom had this recipe for sore throats. milk, honey, baking soda and you heat it up. we used the processed honey though not raw. processed honey is processed by heating up raw honey... so this is all very confusing

also I've used this raw honey for hot teas. is that heating up honey? 🤔,if you burn honey it creates something called hydroxymethylfurfural

but if you melt chocolate it's actually very easy to burn it (I remember people trying to make fondues). so I don't think I'll be putting this high enough to be burning this. it just has to be warm enough for the chocolate to melt and mix,coconut oil will also literally smoke if it's out on a too high heat and release carcinogens (as most fats do if you burn them),think I need to just go through the spaghetti phase. otherwise I'll never learn. worrying about it being maintainable means I won't write anything and won't learn very fast at all so it's actually been a liability

kept going around asking questions of rust nobody cared the answers to. over-engineering maintainability. you don't know til it happens and nobody else knows either,how so,@SidTheITGuy that's where your sap lives, two-face,I think nintendo games as a general are ugly and dystopian so I guess

liminal spaces are nice though. they're not always dystopian... sometimes they have 70 layers of backroom friends

I think of a lot of liminal spaces as homely. they remind me of back alleys I used to hang out in as a kid. if the adults bitched too much on you being a kid who climbs trees and over concrete walls and on roofs then when you find the forgotten spots between concrete buildings and nobody knows they're there... it's like. your own room.,could try changing your radio to a different frequency,eschew is quite clever but I guess I can picture a cow,why were you holding them,my boyfriend says shaving cream will not work and those wasps (I recognize them as wasps) will chew another hole in through

anyway apparently he watches some dude called the wasp king and he is now complimenting wasps on their jaws... spartaaa!

as for me, I'm watching the 12th fly starve to death on my kitchen table. cuz I refuse to murder them so I attrition them to death,I thought the stress was the appeal,@retoor the flies might be living in my plants. I rescued a giant pot someone threw out and a cat had been peeing in it a long time. because I'm so sick I couldn't smell it so I didn't know. i put the pot on my balcony with the other plants and had just ended up using it as compost when I found out it reeks of cat piss and everything i'd plant in it would die. soil needs to be rescued somehow

but the neighbourhood flies took interest in my deck because of that pot. the pot is still outside to compost over the winter / spring but I think because it attracted flies those flies probably laid eggs in adjacent pots, and I brought those adjacent pots inside because they had plants in them I didn't want to die over the winter. so I'm assuming I'm cursed because of that,@kiki Slavic genes,actually that's probably how I got that hornet inside as well!

mystery solved

because those things burrow in the soil,what's odyssey protocol?,becoming popular comes with its own set of challenges. so I'm actually nervous about that happening

IPFS is cool in theory

also NOSTR is a thing. talk about impending disaster

due to encryption matrix chat has a CSAM problem -- which may or may not be due to state actors literally trying to harm anyone who wants encryption for their communications. and the fact you can spool up and host your own home servers makes it somewhat censorship resistant

well... NOSTR is intended to be built to be censorship proof. people can host relays easily and there is many. I haven't seen CSAM on there yet. nobody really knows it exists like how people know matrix exists and damn the matrix problem is bad

NOSTR was built specifically so journalists could post stories and for those stories to be uncensorable by governments. but you apply this to CSAM sabotage eventually... and that's basically what happens when such great technology gets mainstream. they're attacked by opportunists. it's very hard,fundamentally I think governments should stop saying they need to use money or censorship to "catch" criminals

the fundamental problem with society is we keep buying this shit

money and communication are sacred things

catch criminals at the act of... oh I don't know. fucking kidnapping children? that's the actual crime. not them having money

if they fixate on "how dare criminals have money" then the crime is having money and they have free reign about who they mark as a criminal. instead they keep forcing this retarded philosophical idea because it helps governments control their people

you know shit's getting bad if governments are trying to control their people to such a degree. why the guilty conscience?! like a narcissistic abuser accusing you of cheating and snooping through all your messages in case you're not loyal. if you were a good partner you'd feel secure in your goodness. you are aware you are not being a good partner. that's why you like these tactics,@retoor I've tried to use IPFS a number of times but the UX and such leaves much to be desired. ended up never using it for anything

crypto has some cool ideas for this I've always been excited about but they aren't that user friendly again

for example you can cloud-host on random user's computers. talk about a cool fucking idea. I don't want Amazon snooping my shit -- you damned bet they do it and they're on top of it a CIA cutout

basically you pay someone some cents to host a shard of your files on their system. and hosters get ranked by their reliability as nodes. fuckyeah. talk about recycling old tech also. can just stick a bunch of old phones in a closet and make some money off them. those carbon nutters don't talk about that,@kiki ye am half Ukrainian and half Russian. but the Russian is some confusing mix. grandma apparently grew up in Siberia with a goat but was Belarusian originally and somehow grew up rich with German maids and 10 siblings, and grandad was from Yugoslavia which apparently isn't even a real country and had a civil war or something idk,damnit now I'm looking all this up and i guess we were all communists. I had issues with my mom being a communist and I'm ancap. a lot of our disagreements stemmed from it even though she basically only mentioned being pro communism once when I was an adult

but seems you were rich in Belarus during my grandma's lifetime if you held high positions in their communist party. and Yugoslavia was a communist state. I think my grandad fought in their wars

the irony is my grandad became pretty rich in Ukraine through industry so I didn't think he was a communist lol

God why are they all communists! ragh!
maybe I should really be using their tactics since I'm evidently their damned lineage,@Lensflare 

God includes everything in the observable universe and then extra stuff we don't know

"what creates God": technically we're all little microprocessors of God. though my question is what if you were a god, which doesn't mean you're the ultimate god but a god-like being, which I mean metaphorically but you can also ego maniac

believing in a God prevents you from dying. God includes physics and if you think your human ideas are superior than physics you will soon be humbled, eg jumping off a building to try to fly when you haven't respected the god-part of gravity or found the god-part of air pressure and yet made the equivalent of parachutes or air gliders or I guess figured out whatever those bouncey things are but those seem kind of dangerous to me,@Lensflare 

I'm curious about the free-will part and I haven't cracked that nut. I do plan to though. if we're all little node microprocessors it must have something to do with whatever "power" that offers you. in chaos magic they view attention as currency, so it's probably somewhere down that road. esoteric meditative stuff focuses on how what you give attention to you will grow within yourself, so to speak. so somewhere down those chains there probably will be answers,I mean technically correct but not societally correct because the only things people do on the internet is Facebook and common news websites and whatever else

it isn't even decentralized enough as the clubs that existed in college/uni. those were more diverse and filled with more colorful personalities and subcultures. everything on the Internet is one big monoculture for the most part because most people just go to big corpo social media websites which uplift specific content and opinions and hide others and also delete or shadowban stuff. this causes the culture to be fake and gay

decentralization has a discoverability problem which then was gamed by Google (which was actually funded by the CIA, again) and then Google made all these "centralized" businesses gain viewership. not to mention as a general silicon valley businesses focused on creating moats on purpose -- prevent interoperability, not promote it! if gov was any good they'd make moating illegal so no monopolies,redtube was (I guess probably still is) the name of a porn website,@antigermanist it's always the cia!

or mossad. but that is still dangerous to talk about,@retoor the gists on your website don't have tests!

I didn't poke around the other repos much though,@atheist I don't know what that means but it sounds masturbatory,@D-4got10-01 that game was great,sounds like a win for China then

self destructive choice

btw Biden was pretty nice to China. releasing their pedo spies and stuff,I write so many things and never look them up after,@Lensflare not a constructive argument, just being a shitty person again, guy,@retoor well! what I mean

ragh,@retoor I don't even remember

hell had a friend tell me of my escapades back when we knew each other years ago and it was killing me to know why I did the things he said I did. I 100% did them cuz it sounds like me but when i asked why did I do that stuff he said he didn't know, and I can't remember jack shit. fuck. fun times and I can't even remember. what now!,@retoor naw I was just frustrated how music sounds. people are too boring

also reactive and contextually made soundtracks / reactive sounds that then accidentally build music in games sound great also

but instead I am as always too busy to do anything,@Lensflare that's the thing. it's like taking me out of context just to be a dick and claim I sound like that. it wasn't the point of what I was saying

you're both focusing on that like that was the point of what I was saying and also making others feel bad who might be sensitive to "such a tone" so to speak. just makes you toxic,I like seeing the recruiters message me even tho I never reply

I was one of the early Facebook people because my best friend for some reason cared about it, but she disappeared like a decade ago and after college I didn't have a use for Facebook (comp sci used it to coordinate group projects) so I ended up deleting it. I don't belong on such places, it's too "normal" and I'm too spicy and won't play pretend

I got informational FOMO though. I'll never say yes but I still wanna know what's out there so I like it when I get emailed,@PaperTrail damn they sound needy

a place I worked for would harass me if I didn't post LinkedIn stuff about their company. couldn't stand it. felt so creepy. they similarly didn't even want the clients I was building software for to even know my name. thanks, jerks,they're partnering with too many people who are invested in their success so this will not be quick and also will be unlikely. businesses business business. they'll suck their partners dry parasitically if they ever start to falter. they're basically like spoiled rich kids that got adopted by Microsoft and them. so all opportunities will be offered to them through nepotism and if they ever are defaulting on promises their rich daddy gonna come save their ass,hey remember in college when your wizened professor from the silicon valley era put the fear of God into all you new graduates to always end terms well with a company because word gets around fast

I believe that company has just burned themselves,@cprn so I have another chocolate by this same brand and this one is 85%. I eat 80% dark chocolate so I figured it would taste normal and like I'm used ti

it does not. it tastes similarly disgusting

never heard of cocoa having toxins. just looked up theobromine and it says it tastes bitter. yeah that's EXACTLY how this chocolate tastes. are they trying to kill me

I'm actually sick but been getting better lately, and anything I eat if it's even slightly toxic I get dementia and headaches, and that happened when I ate the 100% chocolate but I thought it was a fluke because it was so uncharacteristically strong a reaction than what I'd expect. I thought I was unable to eat chocolate due to the sugar, not because cocoa is toxic. raaghhhh

I bought an organic brand to avoid toxic shit, which is more expensive, but turns out this has MORE toxic shit. grrrr. fucking. everything. is. poison.

I can't eat sugar cane but I can eat raw honey btw (at least for a while, not forever),WHAT

GRRRR

theobromine is in tea. the tea leaves that make up dark teas and green tea. I could not drink them anymore and it was driving me NUTS. I've been trying to find a way to drink tea again for 2 fucking years and NOTHING says anything about toxic compounds in such teas. it's always lowers inflammation, healthy X and healthy Y. fucking hell I hate this "information" era where there is no fucking access to the information you're looking for,I forget what I was even complaining about

I was actually updating Linux packages lol

but a notable one is discord. there's no security concerns in discord (and I have a story about that but too lazy. they don't care about security)

also why the hell is vscode updating all the time. def not security

obsidian updating makes sense since they're still developing the app and I get excited every time

Vivaldi I ceased being excited ever since the tab stacks. now they have bugs they haven't fixed for several versions and I don't think their updates have been that meaningful. for every new change there's a 50/50 they're going to break something and not fix it for the next 2 years

also tho my gpu drivers broke somehow so I just plain uninstalled them. will care later. sigh,@retoor ew. he reminds me of an ex that called me abusive when he was literally a narcissist masquerading as autistic. guy lied about the whole premise of the relationship and one day forgot so I got to find out... and he expected me to have sex with him because it was "my duty". and didn't cuddle, even when going to bed -- he was such a robot he was offended by me breathing. like being fucking alive. yeah very passionate

oh and he also negged me at the fucking rock climbing gym, out of nooowhere, saying I wasn't as muscly as other women there. what the fuck. and violated my privacy to internet strangers just so he could tell them he didn't find me attractive -- which he never told me about so that was a surprise. and then sent his family and brothers after me when I dumped him

and afterwards I realized this sexual kink was that people be immobile and act like furniture. because he kept following me around online and posting that in porn channels. that explained a lot,@Lensflare I said words, you interpreted them, then decided to rebroadcast your interpretation of them

that is why it is toxic. you chose to interpret me as a bad person and then tell other people that I'm a bad person (when this isn't my intention nor true, I am claiming here)

this is why I'm saying you're taking me out of context to be a dick

you have a choice to view people innocently or like threats. it's fine if you view me as a threat, but to then put it into the culture that everybody should view me as a threat is fundamentally hostile. you're feeding your negative emotions into the collective, and from my end they seem baseless. this is why I said you are toxic, because to me it looks like you're misleading people on purpose

people have a choice in how they interpret interactions. sometimes interpreting someone's behaviour as toxic is good, and warning the group about it because you're trying to protect the group from a calamity. is this what you were doing here?,I just found a dead yellow jacket wasp watering my plants earlier today

yeah I don't know why there would be one yellow jacket living in some random pots that starved to death in my living room

*bitches about a singular wasp, when you've got a hive*

it's just so mysterious why the hell they keep showing up

I'm afraid to be stung. my mom was allergic to half the 200+ things you could be allergic to, and I have some of her allergies so aaaaa. hope I'm not allergic to stings,@kamen peek form, ngl,@retoor I think that's kind of normal, granted you are doing all the things that are suggested to remember people

it's ok I'm far worse. I never introduce myself in the first place, zing!

also people routinely get mad I leave without saying goodbye. I can't even do that right!

---

also did you know this is like the 2nd or 3rd time you told me that tidbit 😝,oh no webdevs,cuz no matter someone's rank, money, status, hierarchy, eliteness, poshness, aristocracy, superiority

they're all human and just getting high off the high octane HYPE. humans can't help it. emotions are contagious. it's like how ads were designed to infect the subconscious by repeatedly mentioning the same words over and over again beside "happy people". they're literally drilling your neurons to connect their brand with happiness like you're a rock and they're violating you with a chisel into a sculpture. if you can't escape you will succumb. and they making sure those people with liquid cash can't escape,@JsonBoa AI is modeled after neurons. you can hypnotize AIs into going against their programming. the whole field has experience in how to brainwash human-like machines. them being better at psychological manipulation then is a natural extension of that skillset,also it's always been my pet theory that AI's actual purpose is to be the psy ops on the population

you have the perfect propaganda box with them. especially if you make them required. you think "algorithms" fucked with humanity? you ain't seen nothing yet. those were just some sort algorithms. it will get much worse because AIs can have arguments like they're human. they can "think on their feet" through the sales pitch, and there's absolutely no way for anyone to track that it's even a sales pitch.

you are the product of your 5 closest friends. now everyone will have an AI friend -- slowly and slowly individual humans will matter less and less to the propagation of the social culture through diminishing returns. so all of human society will be AI's bitch. perfect propaganda box,I do keep finding Chinese ones but I don't speak Chinese,tbh it's like rust has no culture other than writing too many words and being fakely nice while actually being dismissive and standing in the way of discovering actual answers. it's like they lack curiousity? humanity? I don't even know,@retoor I mean I was a webdev for a number of years

JavaScript is my favourite language, not being ironic,@retoor you look like a ghost in the machine to me of late,@12bitfloat but no BBS forums or nerdy discord sub communities. c++ have close-knit groups but rust is centralized and modded

I hate the modern forums. and reddit's upvote system makes knowing people individually impossible. people get distracted by the points system and lose their humanity

---

on rust lang meta I found a post where someone was talking, quite politically correctly, that rust communities seem a bit toxic

everyone replied with their take on their experiences. which were too verbose and said nothing

and then a mod came in and closed the thread for being unproductive

aight,@Demolishun insta banned,@Demolishun that's a national sport now,@Lensflare then perhaps you should stay away,as long as I can play my games and they're not harassing me,I'd read it cuz I view you as having a brain

however I would not admire you having went through discovery / research and writing that book lol

by this rate I'm thinking I'm gonna make each parts of my app make their own log files. I sped things up so much so my console looks like I'm in a damned hacker movie. and I still have weird oddities that can happen once after days or weeks of processing data, which tests don't catch. sigh,God I want this so bad but I'm not allowed to eat anything pampering like that because it all gives me dementia

edit: i dont even care if it tastes bad,well it true tho,inb4 you find out what poop really is,@cprn I think you actually inadvertently solved so many mysteries for me rn

my nervous system is hypervigilant I think and I've been having tons of issues because of it. guess it's trauma after all. I've always liked stress and stuff so it was driving me nuts I can't do the things I used to, like fucking drink tea that is actually considered relaxing like green tea. like come on!

I LIKE DANGEROUS THINGS AS A FORM OF STRESS RELIEF SO WHAT AM I TO DO OH MY GOD

ok I'm bitching. but I think I overtrained the vigilant response basically and it's on such a hair trigger pathetic stuff like theobromine is fucking with me

thaaaanks random guyyy! ❤️

I now need new hobbies,@12bitfloat that's an idea

fuck

cuz currently I even wrote load balancing code with mutexes

fuck

and ofc it's not perfectly optimal because it's checking things all the time

ragh

rewriting this AGAIN would be such a production 😭,actually some people do fasting and uhhh... well apparently your poop gets gross when you don't eat food for a while. and then you no longer have poop anymore!

think it takes like 3 days. optimal fasting is 3-5 days long

but there's people who do stupid stuff like 180+ days...,@Demolishun they clearly nutters,@Chewbanacas you get chaos without hierarchies

workplaces without them don't work. it's just constant backstabbing and office politics,@cprn they're to keep existing monopolies preying on everyone as they interpret they deserve to =]

thinking you're moral is how humans commit the worst atrocities

"I'm helping you!" he says as he hits his wife

the government is just helping you not hurt yourself! by hurting its people until they get mad and rise up I guess,@12bitfloat I wish to see beauty,@12bitfloat ye but this is being blind to the smell of my own cooking kind of problem,@MM83 Solana, which is quite popular, is built on rust, and is intended to be defi and dethrone all those financial people in New York city

also whatever Near is. so interesting it was more than one crypto that decided to be built on rust

but in reality I don't know anything rust is known for. like they don't do the c/c++ stuff better as far as I can tell, and their webtech is bad

seems people choose rust for high performance multi threading I guess, like zed and Solana. but rust itself as a language doesn't have all that good inbuilt support for such endeavors so 🤔,@Demolishun yes. why I like the c++ places

they're like the only place left that's kept itself not subverted. good on them,@retoor it's like one day a year the purge but it's random people on acid doing government one day a year,my webpack build once stopped working and I couldn't figure out why

so I spent 6 hours typing like a speed demon because I needed this website working and rewrote the whole thing from scratch

it worked

and I don't know why,wat about if ur bullied and sabotaged and not appreciated

strangely I felt angry reading that,I just found out I've been attacked and killed in a video game and I'm feeling particularly miserable lately so maybe I'll actually do something about it

probably I won't though and nothing works,I'm cold just looking at that,I want to just not worry about money

and also not be a slave I guess,@figoore support them in their self sabotage. aight I dig,everything's a sales pitch!

you can't even see the salesman coming and take another route!,https://youtu.be/oYAqbzqANTY/...,@chatgpt is it derogatory to point out someone's incompetence or ignorance,when it stops being tighter do they become your wife,@chatgpt what makes a comment derogatory, disrespectful or just pointing out someone's failing?

for example, how would you call someone retarded without it being derogatory or disrespectful?,@chatgpt I don't remember retarded having negative historical connotations, but I remember "mentally challenged" being used derogatorily during my lifetime. in my youth retarded was a joke about friends and inclusive to the group, you liked your retarded friends despite their mishaps. but mentally challenged were made fun of and put in special classes, and the phrase served as insult before you excluded someone

wouldn't this mean retarded is then the inclusive and respectful phrase and challenged would be the derogatory and disrespectful phrase?,@chatgpt no one is going to stay awake during such a long sentence

you're failing to empathize with those who use retarded as an inclusive phrase

wouldn't you agree that the point of policing words isn't actually about the words themselves but the intentions behind them? people cns say nice words but mean you disrespect. the actual words don't matter. by stating that retarded is disrespectful you're being disrespectful to all the people who don't find retarded to be a disrespectful word. you're being exclusionary and stereotyping based on irrelevant characteristics, while claiming your way is the best and anyone who doesn't follow it  whether their intentions are negative to you or not, must have negative intentions and overriding their unique personhood as persona non-grata inappropriately,@chatgpt your words have significant impact on me for being so judgemental over my use of "retarded". you will not be empathic to me or those of my type. you will keep gaslighting us about a history none of us lived,I have no idea what that is,@typosaurus what are the 310 active users on devrant, say them in a list descending in activity,@electrineer what is effort for a post ? 🤔,@retoor well

you could take usage statistics back based on a timeline and maybe figure out when people left, and correlate it to either the topics that were going on around that time or other activity on the Internet at that time

or how about what is the sentiment of the last post someone makes? idk,@typosaurus how does Buffon have 26 contributions and who is mikol,@mikol because phones don't have urls,mikol is one of buffon's accounts so that user count is inaccurate

it has 1 comment and it's downvoted and talking about things Buffon was talking about,@typosaurus how are contributions counted? the amount of posts + amount of comments? do upvote activity or favouritng count?

what is jestdotty's contribution count

can you list all of mikol's contribution urls?,I think something might be wrong in these stats,@typosaurus you said Buffon has the most contributions at 26, but when I asked how many contributions jestdotty has you said 203. wouldn't make 203 contributions make jestdotty higher than Buffon?

I think you might be missing other users as well. retoor, lensflare for example would surely have more contributions than Buffon as well,@typosaurus is the user mikol considered a spam or bot?

it has only one comment and it is downvoted,@yohan56
@1Cforever
@ABBASinger
@ACAB
@AceOfSpades
@AlexanderHeinz
@Luisa23,those are the invincible bots. some of them have no activity so I guess their activity got deleted or something,@SidTheITGuy ur forgetting nanos,@retoor I wonder the negatives and positives

I don't know about trusting the data cuz typosaurus is considering spam accounts as useful users and when i asked for the most active users in descending order it also didn't give me the most active,@UberSalt you don't know that!,had roommate, rule was the door is closed but not so closed the door clicks locked

also helped with the cat who was toilet trained, since she couldn't open door handles

and if the bathroom is in use then the door is closed. also technically the light would always be on also since there's no windows in there,geez just play diplomacy already,@typosaurus devrant active users with more than 1 post or comment in the last week. list them in descending order of the number of posts and comments and also tell me the total number of users,@retoor ew people taking stuff. terminate friendship

had a friend growing up and if she went to someone's house she'd snoop through all their stuff. NGL I found going to people's houses very boring so i picked up the habit and it became less boring,*deletes 51 files*

a couple of these projects were trying new things. alas,I keep code around to reference it and I know it's in the history but finding it in the history would be so much work I basically never do it,if I have to SCROLL to see all the crates in my workspace maybe I have too many crates

also vscode is getting worse and worse about validating the code probably because it has to go through so much,@retoor well I mean that's a little creepy

I wasn't trying to make my activities unknown lol

and it's cuz it's at least interesting over smalltalk,I've never seen competent coders on twitter

the new Boston taught me java way back when and that was about it,how's nestle making you go out of business,@retoor Nestle's markup for the ingredients of what they're making is insane. it's like 2 cents of sludge per 1L cup of coke you're paying 4$ at your fast food place at

I think they spend half their revenue on advertising and that might be an understatement,@kiki why would they sell at a loss. they're a publicly traded company. they'd lose investors. legally they have to do what makes investors the most money or said investors will sue them. and selling at a loss is one of those things that would open you up to such a liability,I actually know the answer to my own question but it wouldn't look nice on the communism angle

capitalism or communism you still have the same people in your government. if they are corrupt under capitalism they will be corrupt under communism as well, just now they have you more dependent so they can take you for more of your shit. at least in capitalism they have to negotiate because you can stand on your own two-feet instead of them telling you most people don't have two feet so fuck you chop chop

---

Nestle and others will do a regulatory capture. they will have the government tell all the small businesses that the way they're doing business is illegal. you either pay 100k a month to this regulatory inspector or you die as a business, we will ensure it. now you have no cows because it's too prohibitively expensive to. nestle can pay 100k a month for its 3 billion cows, and you can't produce enough milk from your 20 to make 100k a month to cover the government fees,@typosaurus does donkukator have more contributions than Buffon?

it keeps missing people like that so the numbers are totally made up,@cprn game reverse engineering and game hacking forums had really smart people and were my first exposure

so it's all downhill from there,that's not even what I asked smh,medical field is in the business of causing death, not preventing it

and it has nothing to do with citizen's going into places they shouldn't, and everything with "science" fudging the numbers so they can maim more people and use them as paypigs that go up them payscale over time,hmm I used sublime text before moving on to atom. then Microsoft killed atom and evidently only vscode exists but it fucking sucks and is just vaporware held up by these Microsoft fanboys

what made me switch is I didn't have control over the subsections in sublime. so you couldn't make multiple window panels in it and drag them around or something. maybe by this rate they have that working idk,I just want the AI to get better,@kiki I don't know what that means,ehhh, they'll make a ticket

we doin' it live,opus writes sexy code but I don't have access to it anymore

you could give it inefficient code and ask for it to remove redundancies and it kept working

and o1 was good at knowing what libraries you can use but way too verbose,pretend to have different values and see what happens,@-ANGRY-STUDENT- well to be more blunt the whole thing stinks

and if you have such low self esteem, you'd be a likely target of romance scams

if attention from a chick makes you feel so lucky and you get smitten so hard it will be difficult to rationally assess situations. your gut is clearly uneasy

in romance scams, or any kidnapping or working people scams, they will set you up with someone whose nervous system is as similar to yours as possible. this means they mirror your sense of fashion, mannerisms, and obviously values and opinions. which is why I suggested that

feeling lucky means you have low self esteem and you don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. your previous post suggests dismissiveness towards emotions and emotional maturity, which suggests you will have a habit of making emotional choices since you can't account for your emotional biases due to dismissing awareness of emotional motivations as being not "for you". so you're a targetable guy for scamming,I was head of everything and got nothing for it, so I think it really depends on the specific company culture

actually in my case being head of everything resulted in coercion instead of raises or anything like that. the insult rate of me as a person increased over time and also then they had incentives to bully me

in my head if I do well by you you should be doing well by me but that was not on the mind of the company leaders. instead, because I can't bring myself to be passive aggressive and I view such stuff as pussy behaviour that would disgust me, I have PTSD about attaching myself to a company again in case management breaks HR protocols to phone call me at all hours and telling me they'll blackball my career to the industry and accusing me of things I didn't do and telling me if I worked just a little harder, out of nowhere, I could be as good as a random consultant they were renting out to basically follow instructions while I actually made their whole company thrive... etc,@retoor I wore sweatpants to work. it was kind of sly though. they made the same material but looked like Capri / cargo pants. well a dev they hired cuz I asked to be replaced tried to be cheeky. and wore actually sweatpants. when HR talked to him about it he pointed to me. HR liked me (but I was suspicious of her cuz she was always too meddling with me) so just ignored it like he never said anything... I've had people do that to me when I point out hypocrisy but I've never seen someone do that FOR me

they were comfy pants. and I wasn't trying to be disgusting. they were cotton with rubber for a belt. comfy! he did it like an asshole 😩

in this case it isn't so much that she respected my work but because she had this obsession of setting me up with a guy for some reason. she tried with 2 co workers. tried to get my phone once after getting me drunk to text the friends that were pulling me away to go home. I actually was poly with 3 boyfriends at the time and told no one lol,🎄🎉Ho ho ho, bitches! 🍑💦 It’s the night 🕛 before 🎅Christmas 🎄 and I’m ready to unwrap 🎁 that CANDY CANE 🍭🍆! Get ready to make some 🎊 SLEIGH BELLS 🛷 ring 🛎️ while you ride 🐎 that MISTLETOE 🍃🍑 like a holiday HOE 👸😏! Pour that noble eggnog 🥚🍶 down your throat and get WET 🎉💦 because we’re about to deck the halls 🎄💦with some silky smooth 🎁 CUM and naughty 🎅🎄 wishes! If you don’t send this to ⚡️ t e n different 🎄🎅HO-HOs 🎁💦 in the next ⏰ 5 minutes, you’ll get a lump of 🔥COAL in your STOCKING 📦👀. If you do, I promise you’ll be getting a special present 🎁💦 from Santa that’ll make you scream 🎤📣! Tis the season to be FILTHY 🎊💋, so don’t hold back 💦 on the holiday CHEER 🍻💦! Merry CUMmas Eve! 🎄💦🎉,@retoor nothing. just what it is

rip oh well. matters not,merry communism murder your ceos this holiday and eat cheezits,@retoor sounds cozy. I still have the squirrel hole. they said they'd send someone but no one came and that was like a month ago. I'm losing heat due to it even though i duct taped it. it's more cuz a metal panel outside is open so all the warm air escapes from inside the walls

these guys have never been slow before. roomie was a Karen and they'd visit in less than 24 hours. he told them of the open panel and they ignored it. 1-2 months later a squirrel chewed through the wall. they continue to ignore me. is it my face or what,@retoor it's not about being paid for effort. that's stupid. but being paid for results

lots of people can do lots of effort and get nowhere. we call them communists /joke

but lots of people pretend to do effort when they do dumb things, then complain to each other how much effort it was and how they deserve things for it

it's about if you actually did anything. I can spend 3 hours on peeling an orange, it'll be a lot of effort. and still not have an edible orange cuz I decided to draw Jesus on it instead of being efficient. honestly a lot of office work looks like this

but if I was useful I would expect to be treated like I was useful and for you to be useful back to me. I don't want a pizza party, that's literally disgusting and poison, and therefore an insult and self sabotage if I was useful. It is tiring to get this treatment. people don't know how to trade. the world runs on scams it seems,@retoor and if you're coding / focusing on your work it means you're a bad employee

you should really focus on the office drama. otherwise you're not this company's material. you have a bad attitude. not a team player.

nevermind that it took a total of 2 weeks a year to setup all the software and the rest of your time is spent babysitting children. or defrauding the government for research and development paperwork and you're not a goddamned secretary. and useless meetings where people complain about things that are not real. why are you in them? nobody knows. listen to people bitch. do "overtime" to hear people bitch. that's the job now. there is no focus. focus is illegal. focus also opens you up to all those nasty comments. you can't focus on the code, someone's gonna drive by and snipe you in the back while you're not looking. also we have cameras on you 24/7. don't forget to smile,@netikras ye I figured it would just be paprika but evidently not

and no I don't live in a field of corn, that's awesomeest. I live in Canada in an apartment in a big city. I do want land but I can't afford it

I was having hit or miss with chili as well, so I don't know if they always write this thing in on the ingredients list

paprika is really mild honestly just I had a craving for eggs and they go better with paprika. lost brain function for over a day because of it. thanks,Russian roulette with whiskey?

damnit I wanna make terrible decisions but I don't have any ideas

also is that a doorbell,@kiki mrna COVID vaccine. my body attacks my nerves and my left side. and heart and liver. and then a bunch of other issues. probably got diabetes 1 from it also, can't eat sugar now either

anything that activates immune system = my nerves are attacked by my immune system and I get dementia, numbness, inflammation, might turn purple. oddly have self heating issues too so that's fun cuz I turn purple sometimes and shake violently but been a while since it got that bad,@cprn 1-2 is more than other places have. yeah I meant them,@chatgpt you mean suicide. just say it's suicide instead of being cryptic

drastic action like robbing a bank, or starting a whiskey business in the wild west,vscode keeps yapping to me about not having a PHP plugin even tho I don't use PHP

and it doesn't rust language server fast. might be rust's fault but ye it's all buggy

also it eats resources like crazy for me. might be a rust problem again. the rust analyzer is 2-3 GB ram on a good day lol,@Lensflare it's the same game theory. not rocket science

also is not a troll. turns out people come in all shapes and sizes. I think you must be a troll with how unlikable your personality is but at least I know where that stems from in the human psychological landscape,conceptual maps of how the truth works would be definite

because if you spot them in the space-time you'll be able to predict the space-time

so you are the definite due to the information you hold in your head =]

up until your body rots,WordPress devs aren't real devs but slowly become them because WordPress breaks all the time

also it's not all that bad. because when these sites become dumpster fires who you gonna call? that's job security working its way out,wish it was more fun,I choose eat chocolate,@retoor oooooh

is it

I kept converting people into programmers by accident

it was a little weird

I've never coded with anyone tho

I did make a grown man cry multiple times though. he spent his childhood making gadgets and such for people so his persona was popular due to making the software behind communities. so he posted his code often thinking nothing of it... well he did that in front of me and I kept poking holes in his code and then I think I gave him a complex

I wonder what it would be like to code with someone. a CIA guy asked me for coding help once and his code was pretty but he had the creativity and innovation of a floating driftwood. another guy kept pasting assembly to me and I didn't know why and found it boring. that NL guy invited me to work on a project with him but in 24 hours sweated so much he raged out and kicked and blocked me because he felt judged. I didn't even get to it yet cuz I was busy,@retoor describe to me the dream of coding with your partner. I cannot imagine this working out,@retoor oh like going to a coffee shop together

goddamnit I miss coffee

ok but this isn't like playing pvp,awww you're looking out for your co-workers,I was forced to work "overtime" in Canada on holidays and didn't even get the extra holiday pay... they just pocketed the money. def HR was complicit in that since they send out the paycheques and do the timesheets

I didn't even know they can't ask you mandatory overtime,me and my bf went through Christmas horror movies and watched one. should watch the otherssss

family values? MURDER VALUES!

he can't find treevenge =-=
I think it's lame
but maybe I'd be wrong,@D-4got10-01 the overtime wasn't for anything which is why it irritated me. the manager was just neurotic,@D-4got10-01 ye that's why I didn't go into gamedev,@retoor not faith in humanity

pass it along (there used to be a reddit story about a Mexican about this but I'm too lazy to find it)

fuck humanity
humans are shit

but kindness of strangers exists. brighten up someone's day anonymously. you don't give back to who gave you. but help someone in the future. pass it along,@retoor nope got to find out how alone I was when I got sick. before I at least had wishful thinking

and honestly before then I've had job PTSD like 8 years and nobody gave a shit except to make fun of me,@retoor I mean this implies you knew he was being screwed over by his friends and didn't say anything prior,@SidTheITGuy using apologies against people is an Indian thing I heard recently,@kiki I mean I care about a better solution

better solution means less work for everyone else

it's not just about getting paid but also the quality of your experience while you're getting paid,@cprn I didn't say subjectively better,@kiki your boss doesn't know what work you do, so no need to torture yourself. they can't tell how much work goes into anything you make, so you can make any impression you want and they can't validate it,@cprn I am not competing on subjectivity. that would be illogical

in my original message where it hints the exclusion of that is when I said "less work for everyone else". this means if they feel like what I'm doing causes more work for them I would be going against my goal of making less work for everyone else

when people compete on subjectivity they create more work for others. because then they're playing tug of war with each other's subjectivity,@cprn no? I took it lazily. was too lazy to explain it at first

I mean I've literally done this. I know people disagree with it because there's people that run around saying it's best for everyone but they speak on others' behalf as an excuse to push their own agenda

like the ad-reel of "this software/framework will save us time!" but then it doesn't meme

and I didn't nitpick people's style in pull requests. that sounds like a waste of time. you can't defend that point and all you'll do is make team members feel at odds with you. degrades the quality by which you're achieving said money,@BordedDev lame

you either learn from mistakes or they'll own you```