Root said Me: Hey, guys, this stuff is seriously flammable. Like, I’m surprised it hasn’t caught fire yet. I really want to clean it up.  Here’s how I’d make it better.

Management: No. It’s fine, it works. Don’t touch it. It’s getting replaced anyway.  Just add the things on top like we asked you to, and call it a day.

Me: Are you sure? This is seriously going to be a problem.

Management: We just said it’s getting replaced. Don’t. touch. anything. OK?

Me: alright.

… Eight weeks later …

Management: so this thing caught fire over the weekend, and the fire spread to other areas. We’re doing some emergency cleanup. The new guy looked at it and figured out why, and has some great ideas on fixing it, so give him some well-deserved praise!

Me: Hey! I told you about this months ago!

Management: Yes. I tuned out during today’s firefighting meetings. But it’s important to strike a balance in everyone’s style. Do you have any other concerns?,Smiling legendary golden boy #3 says:

HEY LETS PUT OUR INTERNAL GEMS IN THIS PROTECTED GEM SERVICE IT’LL BE GREAT :)

HEY EVERYONE SIGN UP FOR THIS NEW SERVICE!  YOU GOTTA OR YOU WONT BE ABLE TO DEV! :)

HEY SO I COPIED THE INTERNAL GEM I WROTE INTO THE MONOLITH REPO INSTEAD OF USING THE SERVICE BECAUSE IM A FUCKING GENIUS :)

YOU WANNA USE IT IN YOUR PROJECT? HAHA GET FUCKED :)

jfc,Every ticket I work on involves some nebulous, undocumented BS nobody can satisfactorily explain. And worse, even if it’s something I’ve already worked with before, it’s almost invariably different from the last time I saw it, so it’s still nebulous BS.  It’s like I’m walking through Steven King’s Mist, except the bugs are more metaphorical.

Everything is spec’d out, except for the views, and half of the logic. But the rest is still technically covered because tests indirectly call the code, so that means it won’t crash right? 😅  Also, the tests that are there are also fucking nebulous, such as calling helper methods that are heavily abstracted, or that are written to test completely different things but kinda sorta work for this too if you set things up just right.

I’m going insane.,Why yes we have these nine types of transactions mocked. See? The factories make CSV data just like we get in those gigantic CSV files every day that are like ultra-important or whatever.

Wait, you want to actually use the data? to create records? Like build a record like we do in the code?  Nonononono that won’t work!  Why? Why!? You want us to actually MOCK the data, like make it look real AND MAKE IT PASS VALIDATION? Are you CRAZY!? THERES LIKE THIRTY COLUMNS THERE!  No way. No no no way. If you want to do that, you’re on your own.  But make sure you don’t break anything with your “improvements” or it’s on you.

Also, all of this is going away soon, so make sure you don’t do anything unnecessary, like mocking all that data.  (It’s been “going away” for well over a year now…)

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